this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2025
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top 43 comments
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[–] anarchrist@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 17 points 5 days ago (2 children)
[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

Weirdly enough it's fine to eat if you're catholic assuming they haven't been blessed

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

I’d still eat the whole tray and sleep like a baby.

[–] zloubida@lemmy.world 19 points 5 days ago (2 children)

A friend of mine grew near a Catholic monastery which fabricated wafers. The nuns gave the offcuts to the children, and they ate them with Nutella.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The missing "up" there makes me think that your friend is, in fact, a tree near a monastery, and somehow, through the power of friendship, you are able to speak with this tree, and he tells you stories of the olden days when the children would play and the nuns were kind, but firm.

[–] zloubida@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I prefer your version, it's now the headcanon of my and my friend's lives.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 2 points 4 days ago

I really want to write this as a children's story. If your friend and you want to send stories I'll do it. Lol

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

Your friend is a dryad!

[–] riskable@programming.dev 2 points 4 days ago

Are you sure they were actual Jeez-Its and not just styrofoam?

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 18 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Is it weird that I kinda want to make this now? It seems like it would be good lol I'm not a Catholic though so I'm not sure where I would get these communion wafers

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You can buy em online. Communion wafers. They're not considered "hosts" or sacred until after they're consecrated. But I don't know if this would actually work or not. You're not supposed to chew them, but let them dissolve. As such, I'd imagine when you add the melted marshmallow they would just sort of turn into a blob of sugary bread. They're like if potato chips tasted of nothing, and had the same reaction to moisture as Styrofoam does to gasoline

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

they would just sort of turn into a blob of sugary bread

You're making this idea seem better and better now 🤤

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 5 points 4 days ago

If you do it, please report back. I'm curious

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

As someone who’s eaten too many communion wafers: it would probably not be good. They’re so bland that it would be too sweet and they don’t have a strong enough structure to hold up to molten marshmallows, imo.

[–] Rooty@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

You can buy communion wafers in bulk in most catholic bookstores, along with other cool stuff.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Everyone who wants to taste these: look up Oblaten at a baking supply store near you, they’re basically 20-30 cm diameter communion wafers, and they come in much smaller quantities than you’ll find at seminary stores. You probably won’t want to keep eating them, so it’s better to have to throw out five big ones than 499 small ones.

[–] riskable@programming.dev 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

...or you could just slice off a thin piece of styrofoam and shove it into your mouth. Same taste and texture!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

We're trying to get off oil and you expect us to shove petroleum products in our mouths. SMH.

[–] riskable@programming.dev 2 points 3 days ago

Hmmm... For a sustainable alternative press some very fine paper pulp into a cracker-like shape, let it dry, then shove it into your mouth.

As an alternative you could just take a bite out of a cereal box, making sure that the inside-the-box side of the cardboard is what hits your tongue first 👍

Oblaten are a little difficult to get in a lot of places that don’t use them regularly like the US. I’ve only ever seen them once at a specialty store and that was only for the holidays where people might make Lebkuchen.

[–] gofsckyourself@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

More pixels. Less blur.

[–] DankOfAmerica@reddthat.com 9 points 5 days ago (6 children)

I've never had those Catholic crackers. Are they any good?

[–] kata1yst@sh.itjust.works 32 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Imagine chewing on a thin slice of Styrofoam.

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You’d think they would taste better after they’re magically transformed into Jesus meat.

[–] kata1yst@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 days ago

Turns out that bastard was made of microplastics.

[–] Shawdow194@fedia.io 6 points 5 days ago
[–] TheRealKuni@lemmy.world 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

They’re pretty bland. Kinda melt-in-your-mouth. You can get them from a Catholic supply store, or you can order them online, if you want to try them out. They’ll sell them to anyone, they only care about limiting who eats them after they’ve been consecrated during mass.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Sounds to me like I need to burgle mass and eat some Jesus on the down-low then.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

If you've been baptized in any trinitarian tradition you can partake in an Episcopal Eucharist celebration, and we use the same absolutely tasteless wafers. I so envy the Orthodox and their leavened breads.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I didn’t grow up in a place where Christianity was the norm, so nope, never baptized. I’ll just pirate some Jesus, that’s what he’d want.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 4 points 4 days ago

You wouldn't download God incarnate

[–] Sconrad122@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Unethical life pro tip, depending on whether respecting others' religious traditions is part of your ethics: no mass I've ever been to has checked identity before giving out communion. If you've got an hour to burn for a free tasteless chip and a sip of wine and backwash, just walk in with mild confidence, mimic others, and mumble along with the prayers, and people will probably just assume you usually go to mass at another time or are traveling. There's no Eucharist police that's going to tackle you halfway down the aisle and throw you in an inquisition dungeon because your papers don't check out

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

I’ve been told they’re Spanish?

[–] soupguy@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago

They taste like forgiveness

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Nor I, but I'm told they're about as bland as you can imagine.

[–] salvaria@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 days ago

They're almost cardboard-y tasting - I would think it'd be totally not worth it.

[–] Eiri@lemmy.ca 4 points 5 days ago

They're pretty addictive, but solely because of the texture. Crispy yet melty. The taste is almost non-existent though.

You can buy bags of communion wafer scraps for cheap here. Well, they used to be actual scraps, but nowadays you get full uncut wafer rectangles in the bag so I think they just produce them on purpose.

[–] Rooty@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

No, they stick to the roof of your mouth and taste like cardboard.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

I'd probably like it. Those wafers are fun. Tasteless, but the texture is the same as those vanilla wafer cookies. With marshmallow fluff, it would actually taste good, too.

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

You can do it with potato chips too. Mix through some milk chocolate chips and its good, very weird but good.

[–] DarkSpectrum@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

This one made me chuckle. Great 💩