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Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
The thought that I will be able to actually have things I need in life. Actually able the live without fear.
Was a weird hallucination. But still it happened once.
I had morphine at the hospital once. It was like a blanket woven with fibers made of love, calmness, and warmth. I would love to feel that again, but not a good idea. I can easily understand how someone can get addicted to opiates.
First time I took amphetamines, it felt like a buzzing I'd had in my head all the time was suddenly gone and I could actually enjoy the quiet for the first time.
It was so great that I swore never to take them again, cause I knew I'd want to take them every day and get addicted.
10 years later I was diagnosed with ADHD. Turns out amphetamines just let me feel what it's like without symptoms for the first time.
Now I do take them daily (but at a much lower dosage).
God, same.. it's like all that TV static in my brain was finally gone. Ten years later and I'm still so damn grateful for it.
Same. It felt like heaven and you just felt perfect all around. And that was just a dose of pain relief. I tried LSD last year which i enjoyed, so i‘m sort of open to try new drugs in a controlled environment. Opiated however, never. I was lucky to experience it in a controlled environment like the hospital to realise this drug is not for fun, it will make an addict of you.
Weird. I've gotten oxy for a surgery, and it was just meh. Didn't make me feel tired, didn't really do a lot for the pain--which wasn't really that bad--def. didn't get me high. OTOH, I'm allergic to at least one opiate, so IDK.
Yep, dangerous stuff. I once had some minor surgery done. Afterwards I was sitting outside in a patient waiting room in a bed waiting for the drugs to stop working.
I brought my laptop and watched some episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm. It was hilarious and super comfortable.
I can never do that again, it's obviously super addictive. The medical professionals are right in being really strict when giving out opiates in my country.
I never came close to describing morphine even half as well as you did. And it still doesn't do it justice.
Morphine is the best. And that's what makes it the worst.
Hearing "Highway to the Danger Zone" at a piano bar. It was request night for tips, where the requests were ordered by how much the tip was.
Most of the tips were $1 to $3. I laid down Highway with $5, mostly as a joke.
What I got was a panio cover made up on the spot, and it was the best version of the song I ever heard. Will likely never hear it like that again.
I'd like to be able to raise my children again. I think I could do better.
They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don’t have any kids yourself.
-Philip Larkin
It's a constant fear of mine. That I'm not doing well enough. I actually lie awake at nights and that's not something I normally do. But I know that I can't do more than my best, I'll make plenty mistakes, but so did my parents and I turned out fine. As long as you give all the love and support that you can. They'll be fine. There's not much else you can do, honestly, they'll have to find their own way anyhow
Losing consciousness. I went to get by blood drawn for the doctor and for some reason I got nervous or something, and I lost consciousness for just a minute or two.
I woke up as if I had just slept for 30 hours, more rested than I've ever been, no matter how long I sleep.
Sometimes we just need to turn the human off then on again and it clears out the brain cache? I'll have to try sometime!
If only I could pass out on command.
Looking out over unbroken old-growth tropical rainforest as far as the eye could see. It was beautiful and gave me hope for our slowly dying world.
There's a camaraderie with the other soldiers on your platoon that happens when you're in the military that I've never been able to feel with any other group of people since I got out. I would really like to be able to experience that again, but minus the war part.
Fresh new set of teeth.
I wanna smoke weed again. I did it one time in school when I got hold of a dealer. Didn't do it again, dunno why. Now I don't know any dealers.
New Zealand. Beautiful place, and the coffee, OMFG, they really know their coffee there!
playing portal 1/2 and celeste for the first time were amazing, obviously still great games but nothing beats your first playthrough
True love. I was with my soulmate and she left me. My heart never healed and it's been over 4 years.
Flying with my father. Flying was his passion and I only ever got to ride with him once. Sadly, he passed several years ago and I'll never get to go up with him again.
I know it's silly, but a bj from one of my exes. It was so good and I've been a bit touch deprived lately.
Childhood
Sex.
I'm 39.
☹️.
Sleep paralysis. It was an amazing experience for me.
Everyone has sleep paralysis every time they dream. It's a mechanism that stops you acting out your dreams. What happens occasionally is that you come out of the dream state enough to become aware of being paralysed. You're not awake, so your unconscious mind is grappling with the horror of paralysis.
My own experiences were nightmares where I was being threatened by an unseen figure, but couldn't move to escape. I had a lot of them, some really horrible. Then I read an article with the above explanation, and I haven't had one since. It was like once my unconscious knew what was going on, it stopped freaking out.
Jeebus Christ no. As someone who has had occasional sleep paralysis since college... Just no. Even though I finally fully understand it and what triggers it, it sucks every time.
It's also a good gateway to lucid dreaming. I was into it for a while and using sleep paralysis is one of the techniques where you rest your body but try to keep your mind awake.
Can you explain how it was a positive experience? Ive never heard that and I personally HATE it
It felt like an intriguing mixture of something a bit terrifying, but also me wanting to enjoy the moment.
Appalachian Trail for sure, I only did a couple sections but I am absolutely going again if I can. One day I'd like to actually do the whole thing but I just don't have the time.
To be content. At least i got to experience it once.
content adjective in a state of peaceful happiness.
Graduate school. Well, my first round of it.
During the course of my first graduate degree, I was surrounded by support, great professors, a cohort of other students who were driven, passionate, and colorful, even though we disagreed on several things (and one of them was an actual shitheel), and most importantly of all, a sense that I was learning, growing, and progressing along some kind of meaningful continuum of personal development... As well as being equipped to make some kind of difference in the world, as much of one as I made for myself (went from an uneducated, bigoted farm kid, someone who was already neck deep in neo Nazi stuff and bought into it into, well, pretty much the opposite).
I took that master's degree and went professional for a few years, but found myself missing graduate school and so I went back for a second Masters. That just wrapped up last September, but the experience wasn't the same at all.
I felt like I was just being pushed through machinery, going down a checklist, ticking boxes and moving on to the next. I kept thinking that eventually as I went through the motions I would find that an experience similar to the first round of graduate school would develop organically, but it never did. Once I finished the degree, that was kind of it. Have to put up my hands and say that this could well be just because I was really going through a hard time in my life concurrent to that second master's degree, and that very likely colored my experience quite a bit, but it did just wrap up last year, so I will need some time and distance to be able to reflect on it more objectively and untangle the raw emotional impression from the objective fact.
I'm still wanting to go and get a PhD as an ultimate feather in my cap, but that will not be for a few years. For now, I need some time to work professionally to both save up money and meet some other personal life goals of mine, which I won't get into too much detail about here.
Kimberley M., 1998
Realistic hope
Happiness?
Idk I just cant feel it anymore, especially not after that monday nazi salute, I'm about to die (by the hands of the government)
Skydiving, went for a wealthy friend's birthday and found it to be the most exhilerating experience.
