this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2025
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[–] FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org 2 points 2 hours ago

Buzz Killington

[–] AlDente@sh.itjust.works 4 points 7 hours ago

Al Dente: the perfect balance between soft and hard.

[–] thenextguy@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

Huge Ackman

[–] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

Chadwick Cockburn

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 3 points 9 hours ago

Gregor Samson

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 3 points 9 hours ago

Tunacan Pete

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 6 points 12 hours ago
[–] lengau@midwest.social 4 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

That One Guy.

"Ugh why is That One Guy suddenly in all the porn? He really ruins it!"

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 8 hours ago

Two-Tone Malone?

[–] DasFaultier@sh.itjust.works 13 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I'd go with something that has a little more class than most of the suggestions here. Something with a certain ring to it. Like... Biggus Dickus

[–] Nibodhika@lemmy.world 9 points 13 hours ago

What's so funny about 'Biggus Dickus'?

I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 6 points 13 hours ago

Ghonna Reah.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 2 points 10 hours ago

Steve Nippel (in a certain dialect of Dutch this not so mysteriously means 'stiff nipple')

[–] IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Probably: Ho Lee Fuk

I'm ethnic Chinese so that makes it even better

[–] Tower@lemm.ee 13 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] lobut@lemmy.world 9 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

You may be thinking of Bam Ding Ow.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 3 points 10 hours ago

I think they were referring to Wi To Lo.

[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 9 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Default_Defect@midwest.social 7 points 16 hours ago

A Hideo Kojima inspired porno, no doubt.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 11 points 18 hours ago

Ugot Badtaste

If you're watching me then you definitely do. Lol

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 22 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Dave.

No last name, just Dave.

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 3 points 17 hours ago (2 children)
[–] m4xie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 hours ago

Joke Dave boss Pope 🤣 Hook hand man car door

[–] Dagnet@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

Thanks! I was just looking for this joke the other day

[–] stinerman@midwest.social 7 points 17 hours ago (3 children)

Standard rules. Middle name and the street you grew up on.

Alan Woodbine.

[–] Walk_blesseD@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 13 hours ago

Johnson Street would be great for this… if I had one.

[–] otacon239@lemmy.world 6 points 17 hours ago

Jared 832N County. Sexy

[–] Nibodhika@lemmy.world 2 points 13 hours ago

Francisco 22...

[–] ragebutt@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 18 hours ago

I would go through LinkedIn and pick a person at random, use their name with the exact same spelling and any alphabet soup they have behind their name

Jerry Thompson, Esq Mary Kowalski, F.A.C.S. Dr. Alan Carter, DDS, FACP

These are all fake btw. I mean they may not be but if they are it’s genuinely a coincidence. That would be so weird

[–] AmidFuror@fedia.io 14 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Too Many Pancakes.

Because I'm fat but flat.

[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 5 points 20 hours ago
[–] Majorllama@lemmy.world 17 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

My last name is a gemstone that is already used by strippers/pornstars often so I would probably keep that as the second part of my name but come up with something funny and/or masculine sounding for the first part since I'm a straight guy and not a female stripper/porn star.

Fuck it ill go with Dick Diamond.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 8 hours ago

Is this Jack Ruby's lemmy account?

[–] CameronDev@programming.dev 10 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

Gives you a opportunity for great catch phrase:

"I'm as hard as a diamond" "Dont bite this diamond" "This diamond performs under intense heat and pressure"

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[–] Samsonreturns@lemmy.world 15 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ShepherdPie@midwest.social 8 points 21 hours ago

And I, Load Chodington, will be your arch nemesis and steal all your roles.

[–] HelluvaKick@lemmy.world 9 points 21 hours ago

Roy Mustang. Always thought that guy was wasting his time in the military with a name like that

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 7 points 20 hours ago
[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 10 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
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[–] rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 18 hours ago

Silky Johnson

[–] otacon239@lemmy.world 3 points 17 hours ago
[–] TechAnon@lemm.ee 3 points 17 hours ago

Richard McGusherblaster

[–] YtA4QCam2A9j7EfTgHrH@infosec.pub 6 points 20 hours ago

Average Richard

[–] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 3 points 17 hours ago

Probably something with "Bear“ and "small“ like BearySmalls or something idk I’m a short and very obese hetero guy - no one would wanna watch me besides a few FFAs whose preferences I cover.

[–] biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works 4 points 18 hours ago

Busting balkaner

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 6 points 20 hours ago

Nice Cockbra

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 6 points 21 hours ago
[–] z3rOR0ne@lemmy.ml 4 points 19 hours ago
[–] cowfodder@lemmy.world 5 points 20 hours ago

Dru Peacock

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