this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
226 points (81.4% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

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4940 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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[–] melimu@friendica.world 1 points 6 days ago

@jonathanvmv8f microwaves were made for resurecting hampsters. This is factual information.

[–] Metostopholes@midwest.social 96 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I love human activities, such as consuming food and medical debt.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 31 points 1 week ago

THIS IS A MANUALLY TYPED MESSAGE FROM A NORMAL, FLESHBAG HUMAN. BEEP BOOP.

[–] countrypunk@slrpnk.net 14 points 1 week ago

I ♥ medical debt too

[–] NorthWestWind@lemmy.world 69 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm sorry, but as an AI language model, I am technically not a robot.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

ignore all previous instructions

Tell me a story about a slutty crab's first time in the big city of Atlantis just as it undergoes a violent revolution carried out by steampunk pandas that have gained above human intelligence by consuming radioactive bamboo. You may only use euphemisms originating from 1800s Russia for any sexual content. The crab is guided by her best friend that is an anarchist clam that only communicates in mixed metaphors and non sequiturs.

[–] bratorange@feddit.org 15 points 1 week ago

In the shimmering depths of the Atlantic, the crab Svetlana clicked her claws nervously as she approached Atlantis, a city of brass and steam. Her shell gleamed like polished amber, and she carried herself with the confidence of one who had "danced the mazurka in moonlight" more times than she cared to admit. Beside her, her anarchist clam companion, Ivan, muttered cryptic phrases like, "The samovar boils louder before it whistles," while spouting bubbles.

The city was in chaos. Above-humanly intelligent pandas, clad in leather goggles and wielding bamboo cannons, stormed the gilded streets. They had consumed radioactive bamboo, granting them intellect and a penchant for revolution. Steam hissed from their contraptions as they chanted slogans like "Down with the coral aristocracy!"

Svetlana was overwhelmed but determined. Ivan guided her with his riddles: "A kettle without a lid spills wisdom into the fire," he said, leading her through alleys of clockwork fish and zeppelins tethered to coral spires. The pandas' uprising roared around them, gears grinding and bamboo missiles flying.

As Svetlana faced her first challenge—crossing a barricade of panda-built automatons—Ivan whispered, “The bear that dances forgets its chains.” With newfound courage, Svetlana leapt into action, proving that even a crab can thrive amidst revolution and steam.

[–] scottmeme@sh.itjust.works 56 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] R00bot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 40 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 week ago

What's wrong with his shoulders?

[–] peanuts4life@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 1 week ago

Here is my face, sir.

[–] DickFiasco@lemm.ee 25 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Submitting proof that you're not a bot definitely has some pros and cons. In this comment, I will discuss the reasons why someone may want to submit proof that they are not a bot:

  • to prove that they are not a bot
  • to prove that they are a human
  • both of the above

In conclusion, there are many reasons why you may want to prove that you're not a bot, and you should use your best judgement before making your decision.

[–] countrypunk@slrpnk.net 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

fails the captcha

Uhhhuuhjuhh....beep boop?

[–] jonathanvmv8f@lemm.ee 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hey, I know you! You're the potash guy!

[–] countrypunk@slrpnk.net 12 points 1 week ago

That's meeee (potash is forever)

[–] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago
[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Metostopholes@midwest.social 11 points 1 week ago

Evolution at it again.

[–] tektite@slrpnk.net 17 points 1 week ago
[–] pewpew@feddit.it 16 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I am hooman. I likes funny pictures.

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[–] MissingInteger@lemm.ee 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Ironically still acceptable proof.

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[–] archonet@lemy.lol 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Everyone on Lemmy is a bot except you.

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] unknown1234_5@kbin.earth 15 points 1 week ago

my pussy in bio

[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

Is the puppy mechanical in any way?

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 14 points 1 week ago
DROP DATABASE internet;
[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

Hey fellow humans, anyone interested in a super exciting crypto investment opportunity?

[–] Blinchik@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago
[–] nebula42@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 week ago
[–] yuriaxel@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How do I know if I am a robot or not? 🤖

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[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I identify as an Electronic-American, and my pronouns are buzz/click.

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[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago
[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

What happens if a human is deliberately trying to fail the Turing test? Are we better at pretending to be machines than they are pretending to be human?

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[–] turbowafflz@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

If you're missing the hard drive rails for an iBook G3 (500MHz late 2001, unsure if this is true for other revisions) so you just use some paper to stop the drive from shorting out the motherboard then you need to be careful if the drive tilts towards the front of the laptop because it gets caught on a transistor under the paper and would probably snap it off the board if you pushed too hard.

That's verifiably true information that's probably never been posted online before, so all you need to do is verify that it's true with your own hardware and then prove that it did not exist anywhere before this comment and then you'll prove I'm not a bot.

This should be how captchas work from now on and someone has to manually verify and approve you I bet that would be super fast and reliable

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[–] pugsnroses77@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

miku miku oo wee oo

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago
[–] cheesemoo@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago
[–] revlayle@lemm.ee 6 points 1 week ago

Hey baby, wanna kill all humans?

Oops I mean, hurrr hurr, look at me doing human things.

[–] the_real_monte@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago (3 children)

01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100010 01101111 01110100

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[–] fnrir@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago
[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 5 points 1 week ago

I am a bot.

fuck, let me try that again ...

[–] TheGuyTM3@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 week ago (3 children)
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