this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2024
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Guess we can indirectly measure the maximum value of a human life - turns out I could buy several with my walking around money.

top 39 comments
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[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 224 points 1 month ago (5 children)

So assassinating CEOs is good for the stock market? Hmm.

[–] shittydwarf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 85 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's a strange thing but the chart is right there in front of us

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@lemmy.today 59 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Given how much CEOs are leaches on companies, it should be true as long as they don't replace the CEO.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Jokes aside, it's almost certainly because the algorithms tell them that press mentions=interest=buy

[–] RarePossum@programming.dev 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think it's because they released their earnings report and it was positive actually

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 points 1 month ago

I mean, yeah? They don't deny claims because it loses them money.

[–] hmonkey@lemy.lol 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There's a mission exactly like this in GTA V, you kill the LifeInvader CEO and watch the stock market go brrrrr

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

I really liked that one, it was soooo fucked though (no spoilers, but let's just say it's a bit mind blowing). It lead to similar side missions where you got to do that to others, too.

[–] VeganCheesecake@lemmy.blahaj.zone 34 points 1 month ago (3 children)

You know how expensive CEOs are? Huge expense suddenly gone.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

No parachute fees either

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago

Their 'work' is among the easiest to automate.

But, automation for thee, profits for me, says C Suite, and so it shall be.

[–] PriorityMotif@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Plus companies generally have life insurance on all of their employees. I'm sure the policy on this guy is fairly substantial (if the claim isn't denied, kek)

[–] DashboTreeFrog@discuss.online 13 points 1 month ago

Hope people are taking notes

[–] Glide@lemmy.ca 155 points 1 month ago

We've been sacrificing underpaid workers, labourers and academics alike, to the stock market for years with such small returns. A single CEO is sacrificed and the line skyrockets.

We've been targeting the wrong people.

[–] djsoren19@yiffit.net 95 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You know how people like to satirize the stock market by claiming it runs on blood?

We're living in a satire.

It is not satire, it is usually just that the blood sacrifices are usually more obfuscated and hidden.

[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 56 points 1 month ago

He died doing what he loved... Hurting people during the exact worst moments of their entire lives, but through layers of obfuscation so he could treat people like widgets.

[–] Einstein@sh.itjust.works 55 points 1 month ago

One CEO down, only a few thousand more to go.

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 41 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] TheSaus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 month ago

Ahaha can hear him saying it

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 28 points 1 month ago

follow the money

[–] sudo@programming.dev 22 points 1 month ago

Its actually way down now. That line jump is from Thompson selling his stocks before getting his claim denied. One of the reasons people suspected it being a hired hit (which I doubt).

[–] credo@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No Christmas bonus this year.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

It's ok, Christmas came early.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago

.world gonna ban the New York Stock Exchange now.

[–] sqibkw@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

As much as I'm rooting for this meme, the spike was very brief and the stock has been falling consistently over the last day 😔

[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Probably just a bunch of people getting in on the short.

[–] Hammocks4All@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 month ago

Buy high sell low

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Hmm, what has the bigger effect on stock market: firing 1000s of workers or shooting a CEO?

[–] bokherif@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

New method of market manipulation dropped...except this time manipulated by the common folk

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

BEHOLD! THE MARKET HAS SPOKEN! LET IT BE SO! GO FORTH AND SERVE YOUR MASTER!

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 7 points 1 month ago

WE MUST SACRIFICE MORE CEO BODIES TO THE NASDAQ GODS.

FOR GROWTH!

[–] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Let me get a gun and some Tesla stocks

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I don't know if this is a plan, or like a regular order at a American drive thru.

"A number 9, a gun, and some Tesla stocks, no ketchup. Please and thank you."

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

When did Wallstreet get so based?

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

It didn’t, the stock is down 30% this week, OP just cropped a completely bullshit and misleading time window.

[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

You know people keep saying this event is unifying everyone, didn’t realize it could mean the rich as well.

[–] Bgugi@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Something something something, fiduciary duty.

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Well, explaining the noise is a game that can be played here too...

Everybody seems intent on doing it, why not us?