this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
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As someone who actively identifies as queer, I don't like to use it for the community as a whole. Adding a + at the end of LGBT or LGBTQ is generally sufficient to get the point across that you're not intentionally leaving people out, if that's a concern you have, but I don't think it's ever been a real concern in good faith conversations. I've seen people try to popularize SGM for sexual and gender minorities. I like that better as a catchall, but I think it's probably too late in the game to switch.
My experience with the trans community leads me to believe that there are some that don't like the othering nature of using the word queer for them. I can see how using a word that basically means not normal for a community that's still striving to be accepted is sometimes seen as counterproductive.
I do forget that people identify just as queer. I've been understanding it as they're saying they're different but not getting into specifics. I am not so familiar with GSM, but that does sound like a far better acronym.
I suspect the difficulty with queer could be regional depending on how prevalent or recently it was a slur.
I would be interested (if you don't mind) in hearing more about what you mean when you identify as queer.
Always happy to talk about it with people in good faith!
You are partially correct in that I like it because it makes it clear I'm not het without getting into specifics, but I choose it over other similar descriptors for a few additional reasons. I know some people who identify as pansexual and though it's completely valid to identify with that, I like that queer does not solely refer to sexuality. There are plenty of aromantic pansexuals and asexual people looking for relationships. Because queer doesn't end in "sexual" I feel like it's a more wholistic view of the relationship I'm seeking and allows me to discuss it without implying any explicitly sexual feelings. I'm not aro/ace but I feel like it gives people more room in that regard. Similarly, I like that it's not as restrictive as bisexual, though bisexuals don't necessarily endorse a gender binary. I like that's it's super inclusive, but still leaves me space I feel like pansexual does not reserve for me to find gender identities or expressions that I have a preference for or against. I also like that it gives me an immediate gauge on how people feel about the community as a whole. No true ally will go "well what does that even mean?! You're all coming up with things just to confuse us" and some trans exclusive or nonbinary exclusive people will push back on it because "bisexual" should be sufficient or some nonsense like that. It allows people to ask questions if it's relevant to them or they are interested, while still giving people that don't care as much or might not be interested the general idea that I'm a member of the LGBT community and I'm open about that. I am in a long term monogamous relationship at the moment but this was all relevant when I was dating.
In a more practical sense, to me it means I'm interested in a variety of sexual and gender expressions and though I cannot definitively say I would like any and all combinations of them, I'm more than likely happy to engage if I like the person.