I'd argue that people are not obligated to learn. If they don't want to learn what you need to be happy with them, leave them. Don't push them to do something they don't want to do. There's no reason to be hostile about it.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'd argue that people are not obligated to learn

I mean technically being selfish isn't illegal.. Still better for everyone if they aren't, though 🤷

If they don't want to learn what you need to be happy with them, leave them.

Except for the fact that the next one along is gonna get bad sex too. A lover is like a public park: when you're done using it, the polite thing is to leave it as good or better than when you arrived.

Don't push them to do something they don't want to do.

Unlike the OP, I'm advocating for constructive criticism and pointers. That's not pushing. That's nudging at most.

There's no reason to be hostile about it.

If you think giving helpful advice on how you can better please someone in bed, in stead of pretending that they're already a champion, is hostile behavior, that's a YOU problem..

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Laughing at someone is hostile. Parting ways amicably is much better. I also think that men should not be pressed to do things they don't want to do in bed. Also, not every woman enjoys the same methods, so teaching a man something might not work for his next partner. People have different tastes in sexual stuff. It's necessary to communicate and be prepared that there can be different preferences. It's ok if someone doesn't want to do some stuff in bed.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Laughing at someone is hostile

As I made clear in another comment, that part was a joke. As in I didn't mean it. I don't endorse body shaming, even if someone's a selfish lover lol

Parting ways amicably is much better.

Yeah, obviously.

I also think that men should not be pressed to do things they don't want to do in bed

Nobody's suggesting that. Can we do this without the strawmen, please?

Also, not every woman enjoys the same methods, so teaching a man something might not work for his next partner.

Sure, but some things work for more than one person. Such as being open to suggestions of how to improve. Which needs to be a two-way street and voluntary, of course.

People have different tastes in sexual stuff.

You don't say?

It's necessary to communicate and be prepared that there can be different preferences

Of course. That's what I'm advocating for.

It's ok if someone doesn't want to do some stuff in bed.

Again, I never said to force anyone to do anything. I meant something along the lines of "X isn't really working for me, could you try Y?" or "I really like X, is that something you're into?", NOT "do X or get out!"

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So are we actually on the same page? It seems we agree with each other, which is nice.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

...maybe? 🤷

[–] Malfeasant@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago

Get a room!

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world -4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How to admit you are shit in bed and you are not arsed enough to work on yourself.

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Is it being shit in bed if you don't push your partner to do stuff they don't feel like doing? Is a partner shit in bed if they feel uncomfortable with some stuff? Are there mandatory ways to make love and to enjoy sex?

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world -5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ask your wife. Or her lover.

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I am the wife.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world -3 points 1 week ago

In this case ask your husband's lover.