this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2023
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Looking expectantly at the glass, mopping perspiration from my brow, licking my lips? A hard, grinning stare directly at the server? Eyes downcast, my hands lying dejectedly in my lap?

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[–] designatedhacker@lemm.ee 72 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Staring at the shaker nodding your head. When they pour, get eye level with the bar and follow the drink level up with your whole head. Make a whistle increasing in pitch as you do this. Pretend to eat the bar like an ear of corn when you get to mouth level. Take the drink in both hands at eye level when leaving the bar. Say "you too" as you depart as if incorrectly responding to "enjoy your drink" even though they didn't even say that.

[–] ephzero@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 1 year ago

Excellent form, this is my new model to aspire to.

[–] Rozz@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 1 year ago

Exactly right. I think this was straight from Emily Post about bar etiquette.

[–] Landrin201@lemmy.ml 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

At the wall plug so you can unplug the server as fast as possible before the drink it just poured destroys the hardware

... I'll see myself out

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What if it’s a cloud server?

[–] Landrin201@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

You're outside during a thunderstorm, you should go inside

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Directly at my groin, please. It's the best way to show appreciation for my service.

[–] ephzero@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Absolutely, sir or madam, I wish to display my utmost respect.

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 7 points 1 year ago

If you're unsure which it is, you're not staring hard enough.

[–] Skanky@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Grab the glass as the server is pouring the drink and then guzzle as much as you can.

Set the glad back down and tell them "you may now continue"

After they pour the rest, complain that they shorted you and your demand a refill for free.

Start going into convulsions when they say that's not possible.

Run to the exit when they go get the manager.

Re-enter the establishment and claim that you've never been here before when they inevitably try to refuse your entry.

[–] Zibobwa@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Another day at work for me.

[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A combination of all of the above except for staring at the person serving your drink. I would recommend keeping licking your lips to a minimum unless you are trying to flirt with them.

Another completely valid option is, glance and smile to whoever else is having dinner with you, if you didn't go alone.

[–] tox_solid@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Lmao if I didn't go alone

[–] ephzero@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 1 year ago

Hmm, or maybe I could try glancing and smiling to my invisible dinner companions.

[–] kurogane@lm.helilot.com 10 points 1 year ago

I don't know where you should look, but clapping rapidly while they are pouring your drink, while shouting "Encore, encore!", should dissipate the awkwardness.

[–] blackstrat@lemmy.fwgx.uk 9 points 1 year ago

If they're shaking from an epileptic fit, then wait for them to finish making the drink, applaud and then go get help.

The IT department.

[–] luthis@lemmy.nz 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I work in IT so 'server' has a different meaning for me. I was genuinely confused.

[–] TooL@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago

Okay so it's not the sleep deprivation that forced me to re read this 2 or 3 times to finally understand the question.

[–] ephzero@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 year ago

Would "waitron" be better? I can't keep up with all of the hep lingo.

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Look at the glass with thirsty anticipation

[–] phorq@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago

Way ahead of you. Covered myself in sand and have a backup glass of my own urine ready if the server spills as per the Bear Grylls surviving thirst handbook.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Just close your eyes. Make sure you have eyes painted on your eyelids though or you’ll look like weirdo.

[–] ProvokedGamer@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago

Look into the server’s soul

[–] 018118055@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 year ago

Target fixation on the empty glass

[–] win95@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 year ago

I thought you meant your lemmy instance. Time for bed.

[–] sirdavidxvi@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago

I read "server" as computer server and was really confused...

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