if it bothers you to look at assholes, getting a cat is a bad idea.
this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2025
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Mirrors, too, for that matter.
Or a sex partner
There’s no way this is effective. I’ve owned cats for just about all my 48 years, and if a cat wants to show you its asshole, which it does, you are seeing that asshole. Likely from about 12” away.
your cats must not like you very much if you're getting a foot of room between the cat's brown eye and your eyes
I’ll have you know that I’m legally blind and need glasses one foot thick. How dare you?
You know what, you're right. Pistols at dawn?
And then the cat takes a shit and congrats, Mr. Fluffypaws' butt is now grosser than ever.
I'm NOT cleaning the inevitable mess when shit gets stuck to that, and gets deposited back all over their rear end (and everywhere they go) as this "fashion accessory" bounces around.
I like the idea of a cat owner laying in bed, wide awake, trying to figure out how to cover their cats butthole.
Can't fault the guy...
Don't forget explaining that it is necessary to help individuals who come into your home control any unnatural urges which may be triggered by the sight of your cat's very sexy butthole.
I have...questions...
Cats have a butthole and it is often visible. People have a problem with seeing their cats' turd cutters and cats do not like to wear pants, made less likely by the largely cottage cat pants industry making feline fashion out of the reach of most. The solution is to bedazzle your cats' balloon knot with a jeweled medallion that hangs from their tail so you don't have to see their chocolate starfish.
How much your cats may appreciate something perpetually grazing their leather cheerio depends on the cat.
Rosebud, rusty sheriff's badge, fart box, smelly frekle, crinkled star, cinnamon ring.
Your last sentence is like garnish on a beautiful dinner.
I couldn't draw out the post long enough with the motivation available to include enough euphemisms for the anal sphincter, so I just included most of the ones I wanted to use so ya'll could enjoy them and maybe find some new ones.
I can't believe you didn't include chocolate starfish.
Literally the last two words of the first paragraph.
Oh... Well shit I was so focused on rereading the list one i missed the real one.
It is in the text at the end
That's why they can't believe it
Or the hot dog flavoured water
Looks like someone's been reading the Thesaurarse / Thesaurass.
You mean the synonymicon?
I'm just a connoisseur of slang.
Seems like conn-ass-eur might be more accurate.
Keep going, this is a decent start to a standup routine
Stink wrinkle
The brown eye
Community relevance checks out.
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