this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2023
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New dad here! (lemmy.world)
submitted 11 months ago by lameidunnowat@lemmy.world to c/dadsonly@lemmy.world
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Mind sharing any piece of advice that you felt particularly useful? Thank you in advance. I’m so excited!

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[–] aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org 31 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Father of a 2.5 yr old here ... Have a few friends who just had kids as well.. I told them the same shpiel

  1. The next few months will be the toughest thing you ever go through (comparable to back to back all nighters in college, but this time it's for a few months)... Esp if you're working and don't have good paternity leave. But after you get over that hump. .... It gets a lot better and now you're in the club where everyone knows what you went through because they've been through it too.
  2. If your/your partners parents are in the picture and offer to babysit. Take up the offer. Go have a date night with your partner... It'll relieve a lot of stress
  3. If you live in a decent area, go for walks with the little one as often as you can. (in a bassinet/stroller obviously)
  4. If you're in a western country... If you ever feel like you're doing too little, the littlest amount of effort on your part gets much more props than the amount of effort. Just being there for your new kid and changing every 10th diaper is doing better than 60% of dads out there.
  5. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has amnesia about the next 6ish months. They'll say things like "why are you so tired? I don't understand!" Or "it wasn't that bad when we had kids".... It was. They just blocked it out
  6. When the kid gets off milk, any spices yall use usually in cooking. Or just generally like that aren't spicy. Expose it to them ASAP. It does wonders for their pallet and they'll be less picky in a few years
  7. Both you and your partner are stressed. You will fight and hate each other. Don't make any big life decisions for the next few months.

Hope this helps... Enjoy the journey.

[–] adhocfungus@midwest.social 7 points 11 months ago

Completely agree on all of these. Especially #5. Even your spouse will forget they ever insisted "Never again. No more kids."

[–] aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org 4 points 11 months ago

Rereading this a few days later, a few items come to mind

2a. Date night doesn't have to be fancy. A nice walk in a nearby park, or just a night where you can sleep/chill/watch TV together does the same as a nice dinner/drinks out on the town (and doesn't require you to dress up). The point is that you do something non-baby related TOGETHER.

  1. You're going to get tons of advice on how to raise the kid. The only piece of advice you need is this. When you get the advice, thank the person. Run it through your personal filter. If you like it, talk it through with your partner and decide if you both like it and help to implement it.

  2. You don't know them now, but you'll learn the "I'm hungry" vs "I'm tired" vs "I have a full diaper" cries soon. It's ok if it takes a while.

[–] picnicolas@slrpnk.net 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Lovely advice and spot on about the first few months.

My 11 month old likes spicy things. I also remember from the time I spent in India that their babies eat spicy curries and love it. So you don’t need to avoid spice completely, just start slow and gauge their reaction.

[–] aredditimmigrant@endlesstalk.org 1 points 11 months ago

Yeah. IMHO Spicy is always a weird one and should be treaded carefully. But spiced is a must.

[–] Zozano@lemy.lol 3 points 11 months ago

I will NEVER forget point 5.