this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
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I also use queer. I'm agender, I don't indentify with any gender and I've given up figuring out whether the term "trans" applies to me or not. But I'm queer. That's nice and easy to use in conversation.
If it helps I also was firmly over 30 when I figured it out.
I don't fully know where I am atm but I've heard trans can be as broad as "not cis", which does encapsulate me, so I (eventually) accepted it.
Yeah there's certainly a lot of trans related things I discuss with my binary trans friend. Dysphoria most notably. But he wants to be seen as a gender that already exists (and is exposed to more danger for it) while I want to be seen as a category people don't have in their minds at all which brings it's own issues.
Figuring these kind of things out mid life certainly is a process isn't it? I'm glad I also have younger cis friends who are just much more open to all sorts of queer identities. But it's still hard for me the discuss at all IRL.