this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2025
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Why though?
What is so hard about getting a call and talking to someone?
I check my texts. I check my email. I check my DM. When I want to.
YOU choose when the call happens.
Well yeah, because I need to talk to you
People have been doing this without problems for decades, why is it a problem now if it wasn't 10-20 years ago?
When better options arise, people can start to dislike the old options.
Why do I not like washing dishes by hand? It wasn't a problem 30 years ago. For example.
Now you'll say it WAS a problem and they invented dishwashers to fix it. And I'll say they invented texting to fix phone calls.
And ignoring the call or turn DND on isn't an option? No judgement, just curious.
That would be the mitigation to the problem, yes. But I'm describing why it's a problem in the first place.
You can't say "calls aren't that bad because you can do everything possibly to avoid them.". I'm avoiding them because they're that bad.
So then why are calls that bad?
Because I don't pick when it happens. And I have bad ADHD so being interrupted is a problem for me.
If I'm trying to work on something complicated, it takes 20-30 minutes to remind myself of all the disparate pieces and get into the "zone" of productivity. Your phone call ruins that, makes me have to start the process over again and drastically increases the likelihood of me screwing something up. If people keep calling or shoulder tapping me, I get nothing done.
If you text first, it gives me the option to ignore you for a bit if I'm in the middle of something.
That is stuff that people have been doing for decades already.
I'm a developer (amongst other things) and when I'm busy I need 20-30 mins too to get in the stream of thoughts. I simply close the door, puty phone on DND, and I'm off.
Messages are just as distracting as phone calls
It gets easier the more you do it like most things.
I agree with that, and maybe that is the problem; I would pickup the home phone at home all the time, that no longer exists. Maybe it's a "lost art"?
Disagree. Part of my job entails calling people (and I even started at a phone helpdesk 20 years ago) and I still despise and loathe calling on the phone with people I don't know for making appointments or getting quotes. To the point it will probably impact my health since my dentist only takes appointments by phone. (Before my sister in law worked there so I could DM her to ask her directly)
Exposure doesn't always make it easier.
But why?
Why is it so hard for you to talk to someone, to the point that it will negatively affect your health?
I can talk to people fine, though I don't enjoy doing it with strangers at random places. I just hate phone calls. It's not entirely rational, no doubt, though I still object to the silly stupid remark it's "mental illness".
That sounds like you have a mental health problem.
Ahh yes, everyone who disagrees with you must be mentally ill. Get bent.
So, you agree that the statement that it gets easier with exposure is nonsense? Or do you mean to say that every one who disagree has mental health issues? Because you're talking about a decently large chunk of people here.
Because it forces you to drop everything out of nowhere, losing all the focus you may have had. And then you might need to hold the phone, you need to find a place where you don't annoy everyone around you, and so you basically cannot look up anything.
Text is much superior imo, and messages can be answered whenever convenient (depending on urgency). But even people talking in real life are much better than a call. You can see them coming, you keep your hands free and a can usually stay where you are, they're way better to understand than shitty call quality.
I've said this elsewhere but...
First DND is there to stop people from bugging you when you're busy.
Second, people have been doing this for decades without problems, why is it a problem now?
Because we have more convenient methods. People have been shitting out in the open for a very long time but once the toilet came we (mostly) stopped doing so.
The "talking to someone" part.
What is the problem with that?
If talking to people is a problem for you then I'd argue that you're the problem, not obine calls. Not meant in a mean way, just saying that if you're not able to have a normal conversation with another human being, you maybe want to look into professional mental health support
Oh, no. It's phone calls. I have no problem talking to people in person. Or via messaging apps. I detest phone calls, though. I don't even like talking to my wife on the phone. Just text me.
Depends. Am I trying to get a super quick answer to a super short but urgent question? Or am I trying to have long form communication like a pen pal?