this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2023
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In my opinion, trying to put titles and classifications on yourself can usually do more harm than good, and this is a good example why. For a little while I was scared that I wasnt "really bisexual" cause I slightly preferred feminine to masculine people. Then I realized that I shouldnt think about it too much and get stressed over things we all just made up, so now I just do what I want. It sucks that people use that "just a phase" argument, just let people live their lives.
Although titles and classifications can feel restricting and gatekeep-y, I think it's also important to acknowledge their value when it comes to relating and communicating with other people that might be in the same situation. Even in this post, there are people who have mentioned going through the bi-cycle. It can be a lot less scary and confusing for someone dealing with it if they go online, say "is it normal to flip between what genders you're attracted to?" and then getting a veritable chorus of people saying that it's not only normal, but also has a name.
Of course, then you might also wind up stuck wondering if you really are bisexual because you've never had that experience (which I've also seen and tried to help someone through), so it's definitely a double-edged sword... In the end, gender and sexuality are messy and hardly ever as easy as some crowds want to claim, but that's a realization that I think each individual needs to get to themselves. Trying to force it on others just threatens defensiveness and shutting down communication.