I'm tired of my parents being so religious. U can't come out and I'm tired of it. They drag me to a church that actively hates us and get pissed I don't like it. If I was put this would be worse probably. My mental health is going down the drain too. I literally just cut myself and I'm scared they will see the bandage. It just hurts that I can't be bi at all and I'm probably going to have to go deeper in the closet if I don't kill myself. I'm sorry I'm dumping all my problems idk where to go

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[–] Dankenstein@beehaw.org 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have not seen my parents in many years and I am still dealing with mental trauma that I experienced as a child.

Is the future scary for you? It's scary for me, I don't know when I will stop feeling anxious all the time or when I will stop sweating, shaking, and dissociating in social situations.

I don't regret staying around one bit, I'm a grown-ass man now, happy and married to someone I love very much but I didn't always see hope for my own happiness.

This isn't the first post I've seen from you and I want you to know that I am genuinely concerned for your well-being, you have your whole life ahead of you. I know it's probably hard to do so right now but please think of all the beauty and wonder that life has to offer, I can say with absolute certainty that I would have missed out if I went though with it all those years ago.

[–] sleepybisexual@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, I'm scared of the future too. My downward spiral started in June when my now ex left me. He was everything to me. He was what got me through the month we knew each other. All I have left are my 2 younger siblings and its not like I can open up to them either they are too going to understand.

I wouldn't say my parents are abusive but I'm just tired of the shouting and high expectations. Everything I do is a problem for them.

[–] Dankenstein@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I remember what thats like, horrible feeling but what it really did was force me to learn that my own happiness and how I affect the lives of others is what matters.

It may or may not be worth looking into but have you considered mentioning family therapy or parent counseling?

Having a licensed professional help guide your parents through the impact they're having on your life as well as mediate a serious conversation about your mental health may be what solves your problems at home.

Not something for everyone, I know (I tried), but it can be a very valuable tool for families that are interested in coming together and clearing the air with minds open to new or confusing topics/ideas.

Edit: try to remember that your parents are just humans too and it's possible that they have deep-rooted mental struggles involving their own sexuality and gender as well as the guilt/shame that can be associated with it.