this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2024
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That's torture and irreparable harm.
Yeah. I heard about this on the radio, and my first thought was, "Oh shit, those suicide rates are going to skyrocket."
My second thought was "Should I throw a bucket of gravy over whoever's responsible, or should I come at them with a cricket bat?"
Oh nah, people are absolutely going to die as a direct result of this decision. More many will have scars.
It's still murder—still assault—if the weapon you form against a person is their own beleaguered hand.
I weep for needless death.
I vote cricket bat, then throw a bucket of gravy on them as they lay on the ground. Then spit on them. Then kick them... A lot!
Make sure the gravy is good and salty, too.