this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2023
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Who hurt you as a child?

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[–] fubo@lemmy.world 121 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

My guesses:

  • Intoxication: They're drunk or high enough that they're not neurologically capable of aiming; the fact that they managed to get it out of their pants at all is astonishing.
  • Narcissism: They're very important assistant sales managers, talking on their phone through the whole transaction, and aren't paying attention to what they're peeing on; just as they don't remove their dirty dishes from the office meeting rooms after a lunch meeting. Aren't the help supposed to do that?
  • Helplessness and/or disgust: The toilet was already filthy when they came in, and they didn't think they were making it any worse.
  • Peevishness: They got yelled at by a scary janitor once for sticking gum under desks.
[–] Boggy@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago (12 children)

Don’t forget fragile masculinity and not wanting to sit down to piss because that’s how women do it.

[–] morgan_423@lemmy.world 80 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Oh, you've got a behavior there, but the wrong motivation.

I sit at home, but I don't sit on public toilets precisely because dudes have been whizzing all over the seat.

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[–] mannycalavera@feddit.uk 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Ahhh you're trying to culture war this when the actual reason is way more sensible and boring than that. Why sit on a potentially dirty toilet seat when you don't have to? Why even squat above it when you don't have to? It's laziness / efficiency, dear, not.... 🤣🤣🙄... fragile masculinity.

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I work in construction, half the men have dirty asses cause its gay to touch your asshole. I wish I was exaggerating.

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No it's both you should see the amount of men who physically recoil when I tell them I sit to pee

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[–] weew@lemmy.ca 22 points 1 year ago

there's also the legendary twin stream

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[–] MonkRome@lemmy.world 47 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (8 children)

Related question, why the fuck do some people feel it necessary to grunt, moan, pant, and otherwise loudly vocalize while shitting? Zero people want to hear you, shut the fuck up, you are gross.

[–] Lexam@lemmy.ca 64 points 1 year ago (2 children)

May you be lucky enough to never find out why. Those are not voluntary sounds.

[–] HeyMrDeadMan@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Amen brother. Hit 35 after gallbladder removal. I'll never poop silently again.

[–] Perfide@reddthat.com 9 points 1 year ago

I still don't buy it. I've had shits where I feel like I'm about to pop a blood vessel and still don't feel a need to vocalize it. My brother has severe IBS and shitting is basically torture for him the way he tells it, still never hear any yelling coming from the bathroom.

[–] Lmaydev@programming.dev 50 points 1 year ago

People don't do that for fun haha

Just pray you never have a poop they generates them.

[–] flashgnash@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago

They're charging up their ki in there obviously

[–] Anissem@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My guess is humans all have different digestive experiences. I never understood magazines and reading on the shitter. I’m in and out under a few minutes, while I take it some don’t have as flowing of a digestive track?

[–] agent_flounder@lemmy.one 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Apparently people need to eat way more fiber or something.

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[–] JoeyMoo@lemmy.one 9 points 1 year ago

I have constipation problems and I can't stop myself from making those noises, they just kinda come out. Very rude you're just assuming everyone who grunts and makes noises while shitting is doing it on purpose just to annoy you

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[–] chrizbie@lemmy.nz 45 points 1 year ago (3 children)
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[–] Beanerrr@lemmy.world 45 points 1 year ago (5 children)

This is more of a rant isn't it

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[–] SmarfDurden@lemmy.world 42 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I use the sink so no one can blame me for the toilet seat

[–] GingeyBook@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

I use the little drains on the floor so I don't have to aim as high

[–] bluesydney@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago

It’s not just men and unfortunately it’s not just piss.

[–] hsl@wayfarershaven.eu 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's not exactly an open-ended question but you seem to be having fun with it. Leaving the post up.

[–] HeyMrDeadMan@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

I've been trying to AskReddit this for seven years, but it always got deleted. It's a legitimate question!

Not very high brow I'll grant you, but legitimate.

[–] Jack_of_all_derps@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I did a practicum in a federal prison for a year and somehow my supervisor and I got onto the topic of bathroom use (probably just talking about the reality of incarcerated live). I'll never forget it because it was such a candid moment for him when he said: real thugs sit. Nothing else added, just let it be said like that. People that don't clean up after themselves definitely grinds my gears.

[–] Steeve@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 year ago

Or just fuckin lift it before you start spraying your pathetic dehydrated weak prostate stream everywhere.

[–] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I don't want to sit on public toilets because people piss on the seat, man.

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[–] chrizbie@lemmy.nz 24 points 1 year ago

I've thought about this a lot over the years, I think it's just as simple as "all care, no responsibility" meaning if the average punter goes into a public toilet and somebody hasn't cleaned up after themselves (mistakes happen) then that dude sure as shit isn't going to clean up but he still needs to go therefore he'll do his best to be clean but if he has to do some sort of gymnastics to keep himself clean then so be it and if the toilet gets messier as a result of those gymnastics then so be it, the cycle continues.

I used to hate urinals and I still don't like them, but I understand the reason behind it, people are animals when it's not their property.

[–] TimoBRL@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)

As men get older, it becomes more challenging to initiate urination. As a result, the distance the urine stream travels at the beginning becomes unpredictable.

On the other hand, towards the end of urination, the stream becomes weaker and may cause post-dribbling. This also increases the chances of hitting the toilet seat.

Failing to clean the toilet seat afterward is simply pure rudeness though.

[–] kablammy@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why would you need to clean the seat? Does noone else LIFT the seat beforehand?

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[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Are we entirely sure no women are squatting and also creating this problem? Because I have witnessed exactly that phoenomenon occur in a bathroom before while attending the restroom with previous partners.

[–] OceanSoap@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 year ago

Yeah, women's restroom have piss on the seats, too. They squat to pee, and there is no aim.

Turns out, both women and men can be gross and not clean up after themselves

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[–] jcit878@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

true story. my son has a bit of a phobia for public toilets and one day I was out with him and his sister in the city, riding ferry etc. I could see around lunchtime he needed to go, but he refused as he usually does. after lunch it was obvious he really needed to go and wouldn't make it back home in time (1.5 hour train ride plus time to get back to the station). there was a nicish public toilet at Manly Beach and I walked him in, he had agreed to try as he was clearly desperate.

but he decided no he couldn't go.

so we catch the ferry back to Sydney. again I asked to take him into the toilet as it was quite nice, but he refused. as we got to the train station, there was no excuse. he was bursting. had to go and had no choice. took him into the toilet. it was without a doubt, handsdown, the worst I had EVER been into. there was shit in the floors, smeared on walls, on the frikken toilet seats. piss everywhere. he had no choice. thankfully there was toilet paper.

I cleaned the seat as best as I could with toilet paper. he went.

we disinfected the shit out of both ourselves when we finally got home.

As for OPs question, some people are just plain animals

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[–] bentsea@lemmy.mrm.one 15 points 1 year ago

It's so universal too, it's like I have to clean every single toilet seat before I use it.

[–] Joejimbobjones@kbin.social 14 points 1 year ago

Men? Have you heard about the women's?

[–] peter@feddit.uk 14 points 1 year ago

Can we not bring over these ranty non-questions from reddit please

[–] JoeKrogan@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Also wash your hands afterwards! The pandemic should have highlighted the importance of basic hygiene.

[–] bandario@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 year ago (11 children)

The pandemic taught me that 90% of public restrooms will leave my hands dirtier than when I started, and risk further infection than if I just go in, piss, don't touch anything and then front kick that door open.

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[–] C4d@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Some men will be experiencing problems such as “hesitation” (they step up to wee but nothing happens for a few seconds), a poorer stream than they’re used to and “terminal dribbling” (they think they’ve finished but quite a few drops of urine continue to dribble out - in addition to hitting the toilet seat it might drip into their underwear when they put their penis away). They might even have problems with needing to go very often or all of a sudden.

Symptoms like these can mean that there’s a problem with urine being able to flow out of the bladder easily. One thing that can cause this would be a problem with the bladder, but it could also be a problem with the prostate. You don’t have to be super old for this to start happening.

Regardless it is worth getting symptoms like this checked out with a doctor and making sure it’s not something serious; even if it isn’t, there might be treatment that can help with the symptoms.

Should still wipe the seat when done, or have a tissue handy to catch the drops before they get anywhere.

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[–] Moose@moose.best 7 points 1 year ago

Worse than that, we had a guy essentially miss the toilet while taking a shit in our work washroom. It was this larger construction worker and he must have sat down wrong somehow and shit went everywhere on and under the toilet seat. Guess who didn't try cleaning up and left without saying a word? Fuck that was nasty...

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