Transcript:
“I, Kamala Harris, senior Democrat candidate for President because Joe Biden finally exposed his senility of debate. Thanks, Joe.
I was selected because I am the ultimate diversity hire. I’m both a woman and a person of color. So if you criticize anything I say, you’re both sexist and racist.
I may not know the first thing about running the country, but remember, that’s a good thing if you’re a deep state puppet. I had four years under the tutelage of the ultimate deep state puppet, a wonderful mentor, Joe Biden. Joe taught me rule number one, carefully hide your total incompetence.
I take insignificant things and I discuss them as if they’re significant. And I believe that exploring the significance of the insignificant is in itself significant. Talking about the significance of the passage of time, right? The significance of the passage of time. “So when you think about it, there is great significance to the passage of time, and there is such great significance to the passage of time.”
And Another trick is trying to sound black. I pretend to celebrate Kwanza, and in my speeches, I always do my best Barack Obama impression. “So hear me when I say, I know Donald Trump’s type.”
And okay, look, maybe my work addressing the root causes of the border crisis were catastrophic, but my knowledge of international politics is truly shocking. “The United States shares a very important relationship, which is an alliance with the Republic of North Korea. It is an alliance that is strong and enduring.”
Just remember, when voting this November, it is important to see what can be unburdened by what has been. And by what has been… I mean, Joe Biden. Do you think the country went to over the past four years? You ain’t seen nothing yet. (Cackle).”