Asklemmy

There's a sign that says you aren't allowed on top of the bus terminal because of me.

There was grass on the roof and I was curious how they got a lawnmower up there.

My preschool class took a field trip to our local children's museum, which was a very tactile experience, so they really emphasized that you could touch anything there. My three year old brain wanted to know what happened when I touched the fire alarm. I understand shortly after they changed that emphasis: you could touch almost anything there.

My old pot dealer let people roll a free joint outside with some busted weed under a sign "roll yourself one!" if they bought enough. A guy I know took this as an excuse to roll a giant cannon of a joint.

There is now a sign saying "roll yourself a reasonable sized joint."

Beyond innumerable rules at home (no sneaking out of windows, no making potions out of toiletries, no growing mold in the bathroom, no snakes in the house, etc.) once as a kid I had $5 of birthday money burning a hole in my pocket, so at lunch I asked for as many $0.25 cinnamon rolls as I could get with a $5 bill. Although the cafeteria workers tried to talk me out of it, I spent the rest of the day parading around with a huge sack of cinnamon rolls which I didn't share with my classmates, as I was determined to bring my catch home to impress / share with my family. The same day, an announcement was made over the intercom to the entire school announcing a new two-per-person limit for cinnamon rolls. Details may be off as this was years ago, but that's what I remember!

Not much more satisfying than climbing a fence as a kid and then finding out that’s the reason they built the fence higher.

late 1970s mcdonalds menu says hamburger and next line is slice of cheese. smart ass kid rolls in and orders just a slice of cheese. cashier has to bring over the manager.. doesnt know how to prepare and serve it. manager has to call district manager, who has to call corporate. its on the menu they have to serve it, and safely. they end up heating up a slice on wax paper. after that all the mcdonalds menus in the country is changed to say cheeseburger.

My workplace has a no s'mores rule.

Shortly before I started, they had a small fad of people making s'mores in the lunch room microwave. One of the trainees was a younger dude who had never lived on his own, and apparently had no idea what an appropriate amount of time was to microwave it, and put it in for 5 minutes or something, filling pretty much the building up with smoke.

We're a 911 dispatch center, so evacuating the building to go to our backup center is a whole thing, they were able to avoid having to do that but just barely.

So no s'mores.

Many years ago when my workplace first adopted hot desking they installed a row of lockers for staff to keeping our stuff in, now we weren't going to have our own desks. I jokingly said, because it reminded me of being in school, that I was going to cover mine in pictures of The Cure and the Pixies. This must have been overhead by the nearby PA of our senior manager because less than an hour later an email came round forbidding the decoration of lockers. She was very much a 'make arbitrary rules on a whim' kind of manager rather than a 'actually manage people and get work done' kind of manager. She also tried to introduce ridiculous rules over what kinds of food people could eat at their desks which fell apart when her favourite underling walked into the office after a week on leave and oblivious to BreakfastGate eating an unlawful bacon sandwich, and there was gleeful uproar and she had to back down. She was also hilariously fired less than a year into the job, for lying about being ill and then posting on Twitter (which we were all following because she was apparently too dumb to understand what 'public' means) about shopping for shoes and throwing parties.

TL/DR: I tested out of almost 3 years of High School classes in a week to graduate. The next year the canceled the program to test out of subjects you knew.

I went to an alternative style high school and spent my sophomore and junior years doing no real work. I spent most of my time managing the business computer lab and doing special projects with the Physics and Chemistry teacher.

A lot of learning IT was what I learned by doing in those computer labs. I even was part of a group that created a PowerPoint Presentation with manual animation to help secure some funding for the school.

I also showed them their flaws in the grading system when I hacked into their electronic database system showing how easily it was trying to help my friend out when he was accused of changing his grades. Because of that, they banned me from using any computer unsupervised and moved everything in the labs back to Windows 3.1, after I had moved everything to Windows 95.

The problem was that all testing was done on their computer systems, and I was effectively banned from being able to finish the 2+ years I was missing. I ended up dropping out to work tech support at a local dial-up ISP that was at a computer store. When that fell through, because I was unprepared to manage the entire tech support group at 17 I signed up to join the Army.

The Army needed me to have a High School diploma, so I needed to go back to the school with only a month

I found out that they allowed you to test out of each module if you believed you knew the subject. If you passed the final exams, you got to have that grade in the .125 credit module. 8 tests per semester class. If you failed the test, you had to redo all the actual work.

I ended up doing 8 hours a day of supervised testing, since I was still banned from touching a computer without a teacher watching. It took about a week to take every test for 3 years of High School so I could graduate. I missed graduation because I shipped out once I secured the paperwork saying I was going to graduate.

The next school year they didn't allow people to test out of classes. You were required to do all of the homework before taking the exams.

Dorm Rule: Nothing shall be hung outside the window including satellite dishes....etc.

Driving home drunk one night while in college, my brother decided to drive straight, instead of slowing to take the 45° right turn. Soon after the town put up very large, reflective arrows pointing out the turn. He survived, though his Camaro did not.

No bubbles or balloon volleyball in The Ballroom restaurant at Wakulla Springs Lodge. Honest we were just having fun. Of course the management has changed since then, so maybe they forgot.

"Do not wash hands with boiling water". Saw it happen. The dude wasn't sure the water from the boiler was really hot, so he ran it over his hand to check...

Not exactly a rule but when I was in high school, I’d frequent this high end bakery. Now, I couldn’t afford it, so what I frequented were their free samples, so I went there and ate it.

One day, I brought 3 friends and we all took the samples. Ever since, the bakery stopped having free samples.

Cages placed over the top part of all skeeball games to prevent cheating in order to get tickets to trade in for prizes. Game room, Mike's Grill, Lawton, Oklahoma, USA, 1993-present.

A friend of mine managed to slice his arm while opening packages with scissors. His workplace had to do mandatory security training for everyone, hang signs and create a rule that only those who work in logistics and wear a specific overall (can't remember which colour) are allowed to handle scissors of a certain size.

The rule on r/internetisbeautiful that you're not allowed to post generators

My grade school stopped allowing kids to go up for second helpings of hot lunch because of me. In 8th grade I recruited the help of quite a few classmates and managed to take down 50 chicken nuggets, 2 milks, a pile of veggies, and two dessert cakes at one lunch hour.

This performance became somewhat infamous, and I learned from a friend that they banned second helpings for the next school year in part because of that occurrence.

Still kind of proud of that one. And not sure I could manage 50 nuggets now as an adult.

Intake procedure at a psych ward. They look inside your phone case before giving it too you for your visiting time, or whatever

Every third shift is an undesired shift.
I arranged my six weeks of time off accordingly spread evenly around the year.
Now the undesired shift gets postponed and I have to tske that in account too when making long term appointments.

“DON’T. THROW. THE BONES.”

Catan: game group house ruled that you can't play the monopoly card after starting negotiations. I felt like I lost something important that day.

No DIY tattoos and piercings in the crew house