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People who can don't get mad and just go with the flow, how do you do it? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 11 months ago by hactar42@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Here recently it seems like everything just gets under my skin so quickly and easily. It's not that I get mad and take it out on others, it's just the fact that I'm constantly annoyed and stressed. Something as simple as the dogs tracking some mud through the house will just ruin my mood. I know some people who would just laugh it off and clean it up. Meanwhile I'll get pissed that I didn't wipe their feet and be mad the entire time I'm cleaning it up. This has nothing to do with the dogs, it just an example. Any number of seemingly insignificant things can trigger me like that. Like forgetting something at the store and having to go back. I would love to be able to go, "well that sucks" and just get over it.

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[–] dingus@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Honestly this often makes me more frustrated at myself for acting a certain way. I know what I'm feeling is irrational and I know it doesn't help the situation and I shouldn't be feeling or reacting this way. And then it drives up he frustration because of how ridiculous it is.

[–] lurker2718@lemmings.world 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

You do not need to be that hard to yourself when your feeling "wrong". Yes it is probably better for yourself if you don't overreact. However you cannot really cotntrol your feelings. So it is still better to accept your anger. First, as you said, it drives up the frustration, because now you are also worried about your feelings. And second your original emotion wants to be "noticed". I read and experienced a few times myself, the "wrong" emotion disappears often quickly when you accept it. It is an essential concept of mindfulness, to accept your emotions.

Edit: As far as i understand it and experienced it, saying to yourself "no i shouldn't be angry about this" won't change your thinking