Asklemmy

43970 readers

1021 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

140

Free Internet Non-Believers (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago by starlord@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

64 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I believe in an open internet, FOSS, privacy by default, etc. I migrated away from Google by self-hosting Nextcloud. I prefer messaging apps like Molly, SimpleX, Threema, Matrix, etc. over standard SMS. I love the Fediverse (Lemmy, Mastodon, etc.).

But everyone I live with and everyone I know simply refuses to take part. I can't interact with them socially because they're all on Facebook. I can't communicate with them because they all use group texts for SMS/RCS. I feel like I'm living in a different part of the world and am completely disconnected from everything that's going on around me (with the people I want to interact).

My question is: does anyone else experience this, and how do you reconcile it? I want to share photos and clever posts with my family but they aren't on the Fediverse. I want to communicate securely with them but they only want to SMS. I want to share documents but they only use Google Docs.

There are people I've met on the Fediverse and through some secure messaging apps with whom I've struck up a rapport, but these are still (predominately) strangers, and I'd really like to involve the people I care about in these exciting new times. They just wont participate.

I feel like I've invited everyone in my family to go on a great, grand vacation away and I'm the only one who's packed.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] JWBananas@startrek.website 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If someone really cares, they'd jump on the platform I use or they don't.

What do you do when they feel the same way and don't understand why you think you're worth so much extra time and effort to interact with compared to everyone else?

Do you just cut those people out of your life?

[–] gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If someone wants me to install a service exclusively to speak to them: fuck em, not worth it.

I use basic text messages to contact people, it's damn near the most universal thing people have when I meet them. I'm not gonna go out of my way to download an app and remember to use it for a specific person when texting exists and everyone else uses it already

[–] starlord@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is the argument I typically get from others (though, not as aggressive). I don't blame this stance at all; it makes sense and is reasonable. I try to extol the benefits of the alternatives I propose but there's simply no getting past "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" attitudes.

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 0 points 1 year ago

Sure, it's a reasonable stance. But i would just part digital ways with that person then. Why should, let's say, whatsapp be the default someone has to deviate from? Just because it's #1 (by count, not quality)? Should I feel extorted to install it because "everyone does"? Why is it ok this way round?

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 year ago

Well fine by me. Basic text messages work.

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 year ago

It's not really "so much extra time". It's installing another app. And they're not cut out then, i still exist in the real world 😊 But i won't use whatscrap, fuckbook and the likes. Period. And honestly, if people don't even question why those things are horrible, i question myself why I'm interacting with them in the first place.

But it probably helps to be an old antisocial 😁