this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2023
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Asklemmy

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I believe in an open internet, FOSS, privacy by default, etc. I migrated away from Google by self-hosting Nextcloud. I prefer messaging apps like Molly, SimpleX, Threema, Matrix, etc. over standard SMS. I love the Fediverse (Lemmy, Mastodon, etc.).

But everyone I live with and everyone I know simply refuses to take part. I can't interact with them socially because they're all on Facebook. I can't communicate with them because they all use group texts for SMS/RCS. I feel like I'm living in a different part of the world and am completely disconnected from everything that's going on around me (with the people I want to interact).

My question is: does anyone else experience this, and how do you reconcile it? I want to share photos and clever posts with my family but they aren't on the Fediverse. I want to communicate securely with them but they only want to SMS. I want to share documents but they only use Google Docs.

There are people I've met on the Fediverse and through some secure messaging apps with whom I've struck up a rapport, but these are still (predominately) strangers, and I'd really like to involve the people I care about in these exciting new times. They just wont participate.

I feel like I've invited everyone in my family to go on a great, grand vacation away and I'm the only one who's packed.

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[โ€“] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I just don't fucking care.

If people prefer WhatsApp because "everyone is using it" then bad luck for them reaching me. Facebook? Am I mentally challenged? If you want to know stuff about my life, ask me. If you want to see pictures of my lovely pet, ask me. Who needs this upvote-circlejerking of fake posers?

If someone really cares, they'd jump on the platform I use or they don't.

Of course I am willing to explain and even install everything for the technically challenged. Also explain, in detail, WHY I'm so strict.

Only thing I am using mainstream with is the stupid pixel-phones. Ironically they're the easiest to un-google. And there is no (good) alternative yet.

[โ€“] JWBananas@startrek.website 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If someone really cares, they'd jump on the platform I use or they don't.

What do you do when they feel the same way and don't understand why you think you're worth so much extra time and effort to interact with compared to everyone else?

Do you just cut those people out of your life?

[โ€“] gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If someone wants me to install a service exclusively to speak to them: fuck em, not worth it.

I use basic text messages to contact people, it's damn near the most universal thing people have when I meet them. I'm not gonna go out of my way to download an app and remember to use it for a specific person when texting exists and everyone else uses it already

[โ€“] starlord@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is the argument I typically get from others (though, not as aggressive). I don't blame this stance at all; it makes sense and is reasonable. I try to extol the benefits of the alternatives I propose but there's simply no getting past "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" attitudes.

[โ€“] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 0 points 1 year ago

Sure, it's a reasonable stance. But i would just part digital ways with that person then. Why should, let's say, whatsapp be the default someone has to deviate from? Just because it's #1 (by count, not quality)? Should I feel extorted to install it because "everyone does"? Why is it ok this way round?

[โ€“] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 year ago

Well fine by me. Basic text messages work.

[โ€“] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 year ago

It's not really "so much extra time". It's installing another app. And they're not cut out then, i still exist in the real world ๐Ÿ˜Š But i won't use whatscrap, fuckbook and the likes. Period. And honestly, if people don't even question why those things are horrible, i question myself why I'm interacting with them in the first place.

But it probably helps to be an old antisocial ๐Ÿ˜

[โ€“] nIi7WJVZwktT4Ze@fost.hu 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Absolutely based. I'm working on it to be like you, man.

[โ€“] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 year ago

I'm an old geezer. Ignorance comes with age ๐Ÿ˜