So some other girls in this community mentioned that they had their first appointments regarding transgender questions and such, and so did I.
To preface this, I'm from Germany, so don't take any advice from this post please as every journey is different and is dependent on where you life, what healthcare options you have and such.
So, I went to an independent, donation based, center which deals about everything LGBTQ+. First it was pretty easy, going up to the door looking for the ringer, and then I suddenly stop in my motion. I hesitated and asked myself: "Am I really ready for this, to question everything?" My finger pressed the ringer and the Door swung open.
A super cheery woman was waiting for me and showed me the room where we would get to know each other and had to leave me alone for a bit as she had to deal with something else first (it was also 10 minutes before the actual appointment, I like being too early than being too late).
Then we talked. About all of my immediate concerns regarding transitioning, not only socially and medically, but political and work related as well.
I didn't know that public healthcare in Germany can cover so many things (when you have a diagnosed ICD-10 F64.0 that is). From HRT, to surgery to hair removal, vocal-chord surgery...
Pretty amazing. Buuuuut, getting that diagnose is a pain in the butt, even though I'm in the third-biggest city. There are just too few specialized therapists and the queue times can be years long. But that's not where it ends, I have to go through at least 5 sessions, 50 minutes each. And then I can get the diagnosis to get my medical journey started. Firstly, I want to go on HRT, getting those hormones and the body changes; they sound super promising. I'm not certain yet about the steps after that. But changing my legal name will, currently as a new law is in the making, take legal council, examination and some months to think it over, and then an appointment at court. WTF? The new law can't come soon enough.
So yeah. It has been good talking to a sister regarding those questions and my concerns, as the political climate isn't looking spiffy right now, and it only gets worse.
In any case, if you have questions or need help regarding trans* please seek out your local community as they can be really helpful and supportive!
That's my main concern. I can't imagine it's anything but sheer hell watching your body morph into a sex that isn't your own. Hell, I was scared when I was 13 and seeing my feet grow larger and flatten out. Other stuff started growing larger, early for me, so that balanced out.
I joke, but it's true. I clearly remember looking in the mirror at grandma's house once summer and being horrified at my feet, like I was turning into some sort of monster. Also, had my one and only wet dream that summer. Times, they were a changin'.
(And I don't know who's actually trans around here, but I'd like to hear from just them.)
Thats the strange thing, during my male puberty I really didn't thought of it much. Sure I was a bit let down when I saw my member not getting anywhere and that my once so high pitched voice got dark as hell...
But now I'm facing my second puberty (with HRT and such) and I'm actually looking forward to it :D