Selfhosted
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Not all domain providers will allow you to change the nameservers of a domain they sold to you as they want to sell you the rest of what you need for extra $$$
You can only have 2 name servers on a domain and it is not advisable to make them point to different DNS providers as they will both need to be authoritative and by having 2 different providers will mean you get 2 different SOA which will break fundamental DNS.
to change the nameservers will either be simple or hard, depending on the domain name provider it might take 24 hours for them to change the name servers or they may allow you to change them via web UI which could be just a 2 hour wait.
It’s pretty common to be able to use your own nameservers. The only registrar that doesn’t allow this afaik is cloudflare. I’m sure there’s probably others that don’t allow this, but most that I have seen seem to allow you to use your own nameservers.
Why do you say you can only have 2 nameservers? I’m sure not all registrars / TLDs will support it, but you can certainly have more than that. I’ve personally had 5 before, but I’m pretty sure you can have even more.
I believe Hurricane Electric allows you to do zone transfers to their nameservers, so I think in theory you can use their nameservers as additional backups. The SOA records will match too because of this, but even if you did something crazy like manage RRs on different nameserver providers without zone transfers I don’t think this would be a problem (well, aside from it getting out of sync unless you’re really careful). The SOA records are mostly used for zone transfers afaik and resolvers won’t really care about them, so even if they don’t match everything should work, no?