these 2 sentences have me thinking:
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I cannot change what others think about me or do, I can only change how to react to it.
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It’s not my fault, but it is my problem to deal with.
we had a merger and my department met our new manager. He seemed empathetic and approachable, asking us to stay at our current positions and work together.
I've been considering a change for some time because I don't get along with some coworkers, even though most are fine, but these 3 suck the life out of me.
So I sent this new manager an application that was rejected the next day:
"mr. X doesn't want to consider your application."
He didn't even read it. He seemed so approachable and friendly... this line seems specifically written to make me feel bad, or maybe I'm very thin skinned?
An adult would accept it and move on, but I'm so thin skinned I keep ruminating about it. I want to change how I react to this and other setbacks in life, but I feel powerless.
"It’s not my fault, but it is my problem to deal with"
I'm on the spectrum. I can hold a job, pay rent and healthcare, max my 401k..., but some of my coworkers find me robotic and rude and feel offended if I want to concentrate on my duties instead of talking to them, simply because if I don't do my job I'll be fired.
Not all of my coworkers are like this, but some simply don't see that I do the same they do, except gossiping and bantering, which I find a waste of time.
They feel offended because I like to keep to myself.
It is not fair and I hate it, but it is, apparently, my problem to deal with.
Except that I don't know how to deal with it. And I don't want to deal with it, because it is unfair that what others think and talk about you makes your career more difficult.
I didn't expect this post to be this long.
What I learned about people who seem kind at the first moment and manage to be liked pretty well, are mostly Narzisstic or egocentric people with lack of empathy. They might share empathy for a day to build a first impression but thats it. No real feelings involved.
Generally be cautious with such people and dont fall blind into thinking they are good people just because they make everything to have a good Ego. They are good at being liked and being well recieved, while they will always harm you in some way.