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Eh... they often are abrasive but it's because most of them genuinely believe that consumption of meat is unethical. I certainly don't appreciate being on the receiving end of their criticism but I can respect that it's at least logically consistent.
A vegan owning a pet isn't hypocritical to most of them - PETA was anti-pet for a while but it seems they came to a better comprehension https://www.peta.org/about-peta/why-peta/pets/
In general, though, vegans are against using animals for their matter and animal mistreatment. Ethical omnivores often refuse to eat animal products from factory farms due to the excessive cruelty involved in that process and vegans do take it further (I've always been a bit weirded out by their refusal to eat non-meat products like cheeses and the like but I do understand the logic).
Inviting a pet into your life, if you provide a loving home for them to be in, isn't against mainline veganism - though people keeping pets they can't properly care for usually is. It's all about making sure animals are treated well.
Some vegans just get hyper violent about it though.
"tHe peT cAnT coNsENT to owNeRsHIp"
Is the argument I get when I troll c/vegan