this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2023
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Politics

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[–] Tin@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Most trans people never have any surgeries. I transitioned 16 years ago and I've never had any surgeries, nor do I have plans for any.

That being said, it is not comfortable for anyone involved for me to walk into a men's room. I don't look like I belong in a men's room.

I say this with respect, because you seem well-meaning, just lacking some understanding. Here's a counterexample: if I point-blank asked you to describe your genitals, you'd be uncomfortable, perhaps you'd even feel violated, and rightly so.

This is what bathroom laws are asking trans people to do, and it's not okay. It's an invasion of our privacy. I belong in the women's bathroom, and it has nothing to do with my genitals. My genital situation is nobody's business.

Moreover, anyone who enters a public restroom with the intent of hurting or violating anyone inside should be punished severely. That also has nothing to do with anyone's genitals. Single sex spaces, while well-meaning, do not protect anyone. The fact that a person could theoretically "claim to be trans" in order to follow someone into a restroom to attack them is immaterial; such a person could enter that restroom to attack someone even if single-sex spaces were enforced. The assault is the problem, not the sexes of the people involved.

Trans people are not predators; we just have to pee.

[–] jarfil@beehaw.org 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'll admit that I lack understanding, since I've had little contact with this problematic. Personally I feel more agender, but can pass as cis for the purpose of bathroom usage, so haven't had anyone question me. I also have little sense of taboo, so if anyone actually were to ask me about my genitals... I'd just answer point blank, and probably in more detail than they wanted to know... but you're right, it's really nobody's business. And totally agree on the assault part.

So what's your opinion on what would be the best solution, having non-gendered bathrooms with all the appliance options?

[–] __chelsea__@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

I'm not who you asked, but I am also a trans person that's not planning on bottom surgery so thought I might chime in here.

Personally, the best solution is simply: Don't legislate anything regarding bathroom/gender. Leave the bathrooms as they are. Let people use the bathrooms that they feel fit them best, that they're most comfortable in. And if someone attempts to sneak in and assault/harass women in the bathroom, that's already a crime that we have laws for.

Places that want to be more friendly or progressive will generally provide gender-neutral options. To me, the presence of a gender-neutral or all-gender bathroom is a good signifier that the place of business could be considered a potentially "safe" space -- the staff there are probably going to be more accepting/less tolerant of open hate or bigotry and I can afford to let my guard down a little bit.