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I think you need to learn more about how databases work. They don't typically reclaim deleted space automatically for performance reasons. Databases like to write to a single large file they can then index into. Re-writing those files is expensive so left to the DBA (you) to determine when it should be done.
And how are you backing up the database? Just backing up /var/lib/postgres? Or are you doing a pg_dump? If the former then it's possible your backups won't be coherent if you haven't stopped your database and it will contain that full history of deleted stuff. pg_dump would give you just the current data in a way that will apply properly to a new database should you need to restore
You can also consider your backup retention policy. How many backups do you need for how long?
Setup backup hooks with velero and kopia on a HA postres cluster this week. Biggest DB is Lemmy and that shrinks by a factor of 10 using pgdunp with custom archive. Dumping is 100% the way to go!
Similarly I should do this for my sqlite applications, it looks like kopia can't do incremental backups with them and thinking about it, it makes sebse, likely sane reasons you mentioned.
You are right, I should. They are a bit more complicated than I anticipated, and apparently I'm doing everything wrong, haha. I have backups set up to go 2 years back, but I'm checking backblaze occasionally to check, so it shouldn't be an issue. I have two months so far lol Thanks for the write-up :)