this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2024
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Can just we skip to the part where gender is impertinent and we just lead our lives in ways that fulfill ourselves and others? Support and adore your partners, communicate and productively work through unmet expectations, etc. It really shouldn’t matter much what’s between one’s legs.
At some level, men just need to stop giving a shit about what maladjusted men think and focus on what actually matters - living a good life for one’s self and those around them. If we’re actually interested in flourishing beyond our critter origins, anyway.
This is the same problem as with race. Colorblindness won't help anyone, because there already is a system of structural discrimination in place. The same is true for sexism and gender biases. Just wishing to be in a neutral and fair place won't bring us there. I would really like to be able to skip all the racism, sexism and other discrimination systems as well. But it will take work to change them. And not only that, I would argue that we need to abolish capitalism on the way, too. Because patriarchy and racism are deeply intertwined with capitalism. So, unfortunately no easy task...
Oh, btw it's also interesting that you seem to convolute sex and gender. Because you write "it really shouldn't matter much what's between one's legs." Well, depending on the context it doesn't (you rarely see the genitals of others). Just a reminder that penis ≠ man and vulva ≠ woman.
There’s no disagreement here. Just venting frustrations about the cis-hets. I don’t think I need to discard idealistic dreams and exclusively operate in praxis mode in all places and contexts. It’s too heckin’ stressful.
Yeah, I’m well aware that sex =/= gender as a person as trans experience. But that’s how the world at large treats it and it would be awesome if there were just no preconceptions or expectations on the basis of assigned sex.
Ah OK, I see where you are coming from now :)
I'm equally frustrated about cishets and especially cis men :/