Gender and trans are a spectrum, so maybe your wandering in that plain is your gender identity? Nonbinary, genderfluid and pangender are labels that took me the longest time to grasp, but are what I’m comfortable now with. And also the aspect, that wether you bodily transition or not does not decide wether you wanna use the label trans for you or not. It’s free and one way or the other it’s great to open up that binary system.
lexihexi
joined 1 year ago
Gay buff gigachad healer would be great. Still remembering that male design for Mercy from Overwatch. Hot damn… 🤩
I second this and wanna add, that it’s also totally cool, to feel like switching into a different body whenever would be neat. Maybe being whomever you want to be whenever feels just right to you.
This is also attainable with outfits though honestly your appearance is completely secondary to how you personally feel about being your self.
Shapeshifters are just awesome characters anyway right?
That is so cute!! 😍 Thank you for this awesome event! It brought me a lot of joy! Looking carefully what owl to vote for. Also not being mean to the one not voted for, which was hard while looking at their cute faces while making up my mind.
It is such a good place to connect in a nonbinary world. I think blahaj.zone is really cute for example. And I think I have like two couples in my friends list who met through fedi. 🥰
I suppose the best way for queer dating is joining queer (friendly) spaces. And get to know people. Also you could go on fedi (mastodon, misskey) etc and get to know people. And maybe at some point you’ll grow close enough for irl dating with someone. 😊
Always be watchful for scammers, chasers etc.
It’s interesting how stories can be so similar. My partner and I are also together over a decade in which I gradually shut down exploring my gender and forced myself into the man role, down to a point where I had to really turn things around to heal. I think it’s quite motivating to have this outlook for a life worth living for. Lately I feel so settled in with my gender identity, that I am actually not depressed when I wake up anymore. Also, I’m less and less anxious about coming out step by step which feels very healthy. 💜
I have a song in my playlist since 10+ years, which is about being true to yourself. It didn’t come up on random for long. And I cried happy tears when I heard it again recently. Cause I finally understand what being true to myself means. 😌
This is what I’m talking about
there is lemmy as a better Reddit but also a whole mix of other servers that offer a better Twitter in the fediverse.
Being here helped me greatly with finding myself. Feel free to follow me, if you create an account. 🥰
Hey hey! Sorry for getting back to you only after so long. And also sorry for the way too long text I wrote now. 😓 (I don’t feel bad, cause I learned that’s not so healthy, but I still wanted to say I’m sorry)
My partner was shocked but is also my biggest ally and we have slowly worked through this. Me finally coming out was quite overwhelming for both of us and made for some artificial rift. In hindsight, I think going with a coming out would have also been possible. Just slowly starting my transition in style and behaviour. Why I think this felt like an artificial rift is, because I have always been me. And my partner always new that side of me. That I can now own this and put away the masking is not that big of a change after all.
On bodily transitioning, I feel very similar. I’m anxious of my health and libido.
What I have noticed though is, that while accepting myself as is, I grew a lot better at self care. Before my inner coming out I was always masking a look and behaviour like an armour. After my inner coming out dysphoria was often overwhelming and I gave up hope for myself and didn’t take more that absolutely necessary to be ok looking for work.
It took me 5 years to figure out I can be trans and choose only the transition steps that fit me. Though I strongly felt the need to fit in as what was my understanding of being trans for the longest time.
Now I am surely still not always super happy with my body, but accepting I’m trans helped me a great deal to take good care of myself. And now my slightly more carefully picked look, cuter (but very casual) outfits, and wearing nail polish , give my euphoria from time to time.
I don’t wanna bother you too much, cause whatever transition steps you do, will be your journey. I personally just felt very hollow on many parts of this journey cause I attacked myself for not being “trans enough” which mostly annoys me in hindsight. And now on days or weeks we’re I just can’t really be me (yet) I still know who I am and don’t feel disappointed by myself. 😊
I can highly recommend looking (via queermed) for queer group therapy or similar. This helped me a great deal. 💜
You can happily add me on blahaj.zone Calckey if you feel like staying in touch. 😊
Hi Nen! Thanks for sharing this! Weren’t I so scared of any sort of meds, I’d be on estrogen since 2 years as well. I think being genderfluid is one the labels that are a bit harder to apply to oneself. It’s a label that gets a very stereotypical wrap in pop-culture though in fact in undermines all stereotypes and gives us room to be the best version of ourselves every other day (and also room to be annoyed about pronouns xD) I also rock cute nailpolish, slight makeup with my curly bob and a beard. Took me long enough, but I love it.💜
Thank you for sharing your current struggles! I feel what you describe by a lot. I actively pushed back against my inner coming out for 2-3 years cause I was so afraid. And now somedays I’m really ok and other days, especially when there are social situations where I’m forced into my old shell, I feel horrible and like nothing will ever get better for me.
So, yeah I think that’s totally normal, also your fears of coming out are super understandable. I’m also afraid of a big coming out, so instead I go slow tiny steps. Wear slight makeup or very casual nail polish when I meet people who I slowly want to unlearn that I’m not the cis person they think I am (and I worked so hard to pretend to myself and everyone else I was).
Also concerning drastic changes, of course this feels like a lot, but we have always been who we are, so maybe these changes are just something to work through at whatever pace is possible right now.
To give you my timeline, I figured out I’m not cis in 2018. I actively ignored that cause it felt threatening to my live’s situs until 2021. I panicked so hard cause I did not understand gender as a spectrum and was also very convinced that medical changes are a must have. Mid 2022 I realised I’m nonbinary and somewhat genderfluid and since then I’m working on accepting myself. And only recently I felt maybe it’s not that big of a deal, cause I’m just me and it’s all gonna be ok.
I think you are on a great path to exploring yourself and I wish you all the best for it!! 💜
Feel free to ask me more questions and sorry for the wall of text.
So with pressure this will be a diamond watch in 35 years. xD
Awesome work!! 😊
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There is something my therapist pointed out to me, who was feeling like fraud about being trans. There is some peer pressure out there on how you have to be to be trans. We are not talking about mean peer pressure, but if you see that bodily transitioning is the way for apparently every trans person, then that must be the way for you too, right? And what if you really dread procedures or meds? Or if you are maybe not super happy with your body, but who ever is? Does that make you less trans? I think it really helps to think of trans as a spectrum and exploring it slowly. And maybe you find your gender identity on that spectrum or you feel role playing etc. is just some good fun. And if you find yourself on that spectrum you can go into character creation and say, I’m fine with the presets or change things up, the result will always be beautifully you.