Asklemmy

Some people do get upset; some people don’t.

The easily upset don’t—or refuse to—understand that 1) some of us have brains that just don’t remember people’s names very well, and that 2) they should get over themselves.

me hearing a person's name once during being introduced

me... minutes later realizing that there is just a blank spot in my memory where there name should be

me... waiting for months hoping that somebody uses their name around me in a context that attaches a name to that person because I'm too much of a coward to ask the person directly

Some do, some don't. As with any large enough group

I don't normally get upset if people forget my name. But I did get upset once when I met a guy and he forgot me. I was hanging out with a mutual friend and was quickly introduced to this guy at a bar, then the same mutual friend and I were at the same bar when the next time I saw that guy he forgot he met me already but I shook his hand and reintroduced myself, this happened another time at the same bar which annoyed me but I went through the process, then the next time this happened at the same bar I told him we already met several times and refused to shake his hand because I already had shaken it before. He awkwardly laughed it off as I just stared him down, then he eventually left my friend and I to hang out alone.

Our mutual friend thought that was excessive on my part, but that guy sure as fuck remembered me after that.

If he had forgotten my name, that's understandable. Totally forgetting me several times, fuck off.

I think most ppl are fine with it if it is only once and you seem genuinely sad about it. I am fine with ppl forgetting we even met I am even playing along pretending it is the first time we meet, so far has it only been ppl I met maybe twice in my life(except one person). I have only met one person who actually got sad when I forgot her name. She asked if I was not as happy as she was to see me.. That hurt, I remembered her tho! But not her name.

I think it is worse when I have to introduce myself everytime we meet and it has been over 3 times... One dude he never remembered me until the 5th time then he said "heey we have met before right?! " he even looked genuinely happy and I felt "finally we can stop pretending" but then the next time we met he introduced him self again... I remember you Felix!

Names are just something I'm not very good at remembering. For that matter, auditory processing in general is a weakness for me. So I'm up front with people, that I am not good with names. Same with difficult to pronounce names, I will ask that they repeat the pronunciation because I want to get it right. I've never had anyone be upset.

No matter how carefully I say my very simple two syllable English name for people, they call me another variation of it. My asshole MIL has called me by the wrong name for over 25 years on purpose because it's the kind of thing she likes to do. I give up.

People definitely get upset when you use the wrong name. —I don't

My name has so many variations that I don't. But I can understand why others do, they don't want to be associated with either a more common archetype than they are or a less common one, e.g. I have a friend who goes by Lydia, and when people call her Linda, it feels as if she feels the unique implications of her name challenged.

I usually find it relieving because I don't remember their name, either.

It really depends on the context. What was the first encounter? If it was a first date, then yeah, that’s brutal and you suck. If it was a quick intro at a busy event, it’s almost expected.

There’s a bit of a difference between names and faces. Forgetting a name is like forgetting a piece of trivia, but if you meet and speak to somebody and can’t recognize them in a different context (and they look basically the same), it can send a signal that you didn’t find them memorable (and you didn’t lol).

The only time in my life when I found it irritating was my best friend’s roommate who, after hanging out with them in small groups dozens of times for hours each time, still kept introducing herself to me on subsequent visits. I could never figure out if it was drugs, a method of humour or flirting I didn’t understand, or she was really that oblivious to other people.

In my experience most conversion's don't require the use of a name, so it's not that noticeable if I forget a name.

It happens. Half the time people get bummed, the other half they are OK with it and will tell you they have a hard time remembering names too. I am in the latter group. When I forget a name and the person is obviously upset I'll tell them "let me tell you something few people beside my wife know about me, I have this social anxiety that yadayadayada...". This usually smooths things out as I've shown a vulnerable side and nice people sympathize with that. If they don't fuck em

I'd imagine if you literally worked with them, 5 days out of a week.. after two weeks, yeah that would be at the very least strange.

The trick is to call everyone boss, then you don't need to remember their name.

Only if i have fairly consistent interaction with them

I always preface with the fact I'm bad at names. I forget names of coworkers I've spent years with. Even friend's names sometimes. In fact, I does not even have to be a person or animal's name, jus the name of something. Places, objects, locations, etc. I frequent a park that has sentimental value and I couldn't tell you the name off the top of my head.

A friend of mine has a joke that I always get the letter wrong. Usually I'll say "I think it starts with [letter]" and most times it's incorrect.

Usually there are ways around it since I've been told it's rude, but nobody has ever outwardly told me they were unhappy I've forgotten. Typically they will notice I forget other names before it becomes a problem with them.

Some do, some don't.

I certainly won't as I tend to forget names a lot. Call me as you wish.

Depends, in my experience.

In High School, I forgot someone's name, and being autistic and all, I just said outright "You, I forgot your name". We knew each other and all, but I have an issue associating people's face to a name. Of course, they were upset, but since they used sarcasm I had a hard time figuring it out (autism) until one of my friends asked me why I said that, and told me it was impolite.

Now I basically explain that I have trouble remembering names, and usually my new friends understand. I guess you just need to say that you usually have trouble with it and you should be fine.

People get upset if you part your hair wrong. Forgetting a name hasn’t gotten me killed yet but stranger things have happened.

I can remember someone’s name after one meeting but when I can’t it makes me feel awkward. I feel less awkward when 9 times out of 10 they forgot meeting me the first time.

People like when other people care about them and one way to show that is to remember their name. Some people are too self important and think everyone should remember their name. We have a name for that. It's Asshole.

Knowing people's names isn't about hearing it once and remembering. It's about learning people's names and forming relationships. Here are some ways I learn names

When you meet someone and they tell you their name repeat it to them. When you ask them a question, address them by name. Use their name more than you think you should.

...And when you inevitably forget their name, apologize and ask again. Before they even know you forgot. Sometimes (most of the time) they don't remember your name either.

Better still. Apologize, tell them you forgot, and ask them if you can guess. You know what you think it was. Was it close to Jason? Do I look like a Jason to you? Well, actually... (better conversation than what preceded)

Use mnemonics. A girl in my class sat three from the end. Her name was Trinity. Zoe and kYm were next to each other in the back of the room. YZ. Use your penchant for location as a tool rather than excuse.

Deliberately read nametags. At the supermarket checkout. Security guards. Janitors. Doesn't matter. Thank them by name. This is EXACTLY what their tags are for. Use them! This is good practice for when it "actually matters" or an easy way to be decent to other people.

I had a brain fart when talking to a new coworker and couldn’t remember her name. She was very attractive, and this had clearly never happened to her before. She became very agitated and upset about it. (She wasn’t a b*tch or anything, just unaware of the benefits she got from being pretty.)

I was always nice and respectful to her, but for the rest of our time working together, I continued forgetting her name and it drove her nuts.

Yes. If I forgot someone's name after meeting them it would be like me saying "you're not important enough to me to remember your name." It's especially insulting when you think about how many people you meet once and do remember their name.

I can give a tangent I suppose. I, like many have a first and last name. I prefer... Military style (no idea what to call it, if it has a proper name). I've gone by this for 25+ years. I'll introduce myself as such to people I know, work with, etc. and there's usually questions... Which I can understand, generally it's people not believing that that's my name. Either it sounds too absurd to be a name or it is too absurd to be a first minute, we're honestly I totally get. A quick show of their driver's license usually sorts it out. And most people will refer to me as my last name. Only occasion someone will use my first name and it doesn't really bother me, usually. (And just be clear I don't use it like how a teacher would I use it like as if it was a first name that makes sense...).

When it does bother me is when it becomes obvious that the person is going out of their way to make sure they use only my first name. Because it is a clear sign of disrespect. And in almost every single case it's clear that the person thinks they're the first person to think of this and they think they're clever and that I don't notice. The most blatant was as individual started to say my last name, immediately stopped after the first few letters, and switched to my first name... It cannot have been more obvious that was intentional.