this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2023
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Found this question on an Instagram reel as dating advice for girls if they don't know what to talk about and that men have a lot of opinions about this. Let's see if she's right.

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[–] dingus@lemmy.ml 96 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But I already am a pirate?

[–] Cybermass@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Yarrr beat me too it

[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 45 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Pirate! CGP Grey has a great video on how pirate ships worked. They were a lot more democratic and fair than the merchant marine which worked their crew to the bone and paid them peanuts.

How to be a Pirate Quartermaster

[–] skulblaka@kbin.social 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Forgot to mention the part where that democratic society is upheld by the fact that you can (and will, if you're an asshole) be stabbed dead by nearly anyone you interact with. Your own crew, your "customers", the law, rival pirates, all of them have a will and a way of removing you if you don't play fair. This is great for ensuring a fair society, only at the constant imminent risk of death.

Although to be fair I suppose cowboys and samurai were also pretty frequently in deadly dangerous conditions.

[–] spaxxor@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Most of the the time cowboys and ranch hands were in danger from their herd stampeding, or the occasional cattle thief. It's very hard work, and not nearly as romantic as Hollywood makes it out to be.

Though if you like camping you might like an old school cattle drive.

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[–] Rottcodd@kbin.social 38 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Cowboy, no contest.

Samurai's lives belong to their masters. I couldn't live that way.

Pirates live by killing and stealing. I couldn't live that way.

That leaves cowboys. Certainly not the glorious and romantic life Hollywood makes it out to be, but generally honest work toward specific goals and freedom otherwise, which'd be fine.

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

IDK, getting to spend a ton of time camping sounds kinda romantic/glorious.

[–] Rottcodd@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

Reminds me of a neighbor I had years ago who was an archaeologist.

He said once that archaeologists are basically cowboys with degrees - that the work they do is often just sort of a way to get out into the middle of nowhere and camp for weeks at a time and get paid for it.

And yeah - I can see the appeal.

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[–] wanderingmagus@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Samurai. Literal nobility, regular baths, nice clothes, fitted armor, regular training, and at least during the Edo period, low risk of actually having to go into battle (doesn't apply during the prior periods of course). Good food, good rice wine, poetry and music, good literature, intellectually stimulating conversations.

Contrast a cowboy - saddle sores, dust, caked sweat from weeks without baths, cholera, gangrene, bandits, native raids, long hours, and the blazing desert sun.

And the pirate: nothing to eat but hardtack and freeze-dried cod until you make port or board a merchantman, hunted by the Royal Navy, surrounded by fellow pirates who haven't bathed since the last port call, constantly alternating between seasickness and landsickness, cramped quarters belowdecks, constant risk of drowning, and when you finally go on a raid, you're getting shot at by grapeshot and 16-pounder roundshot at effectively point-blank range.

Samurai, any day. raises cup of green tea

[–] DarthYoshiBoy@kbin.social 10 points 1 year ago

Joke's on you. Anyone can be a literal pirate right now, no boat required. Just grab a BitTorrent client and off you go. πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈπŸ΄β€β˜ οΈπŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

Honestly, I'd choose that technically correct option because it's probably the one that makes it easiest to get and maintain insulin, which I need to live.

[–] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Late in the Edo period, you'd be a poorly paid menial bureaucrat, but that's still a good gig compared to the others.

Damn, that is a pretty persuasive argument, I might have to change my answer to samurai...

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[–] housepanther@lemmy.goblackcat.com 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think I would be a samurai. Samurai, while fierce warriors, were also poets and great appreciators of the arts.

[–] Blaze@sopuli.xyz 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] housepanther@lemmy.goblackcat.com 7 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I have not but I did read Shogun by James Clavelle. It is an epic novel and quite a good read. I should check this one out. I am quite curious about it.

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[–] shadesdk@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Cowboy.

I want to sit at a campfire, eat my bowl of chili, then curl up in my blanket under the stars and in the morning boil myself a nice pot of coffee.

You can keep the cow stuff though.

[–] lumberjacked@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

That’s called camping.

[–] TheHighRoad@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Jimmy, you got nuthin' but rocks 'tween yer ears if you think you can go cowboyin' with no cows.

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[–] Sebeck012@feddit.nl 6 points 1 year ago

Careful of Lumbago with that much workin'

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[–] Today@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I need an option that includes air conditioning.

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[–] emptyother@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

Ninja. They are so good at hiding that you probably don't even see it as one of the options.

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can I be Hasekura Tsunenaga, the samurai who went to Mexico? That way I could be a cowboy samurai. Plus I could be a pirate during the journey from Japan to Mexico. βœ“ βœ“ βœ“

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[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 year ago

Cowboy literally just means rancher. It was not a particularly good job in the wild west and it's only marginally better now.

Samurai were well respected, well paid, and had social status. The downside is that they needed to kill people or die trying when their boss said to, which doesn't sound like fun to me.

Pirates also have the problem of having to do violence on a regular basis, but without the glamour and respect of being Samurai.

All in all, I'd probably choose samurai.

[–] Invites0@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago

Cowboy - Pros: lowest chance of death, honest work for honest pay. Cons: hard work for low pay

Pirate - Does internet piracy count? I get seasick to easily to be the boat kind. Also the death.

Samurai - Maybe an Edo period samurai, when they were mostly bureaucrats.

[–] sturmblast@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] a_hungry_rat@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Surely a pirate in the Caribbean or the Philippines wouldnt be too awful as you wouldn't be out at sea that much and close to land. For me it's the exploration and discovery that appeals to a life of piracy, but in reality I imagine it would be an absolute dog shit existence, especially compared to that of a samurai (minimal bloodshed unless there's a war) or cowboy (you look after horses on a ranch). However, many pirates just did a stint and then returned back home, so what's 2-3 years of making booty and having PTSD from cannon fire/pillaging.

[–] justhach@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Yes I am a pirate, 200 years too late. The cannon don't thunder, there's nothing to plunder. I'm an over 40 victim of fate arriving too late.

Arriving too late.

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[–] Mane25@feddit.uk 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm a man and don't have strong opinions about this, so count this as one vote against it.

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[–] ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Cowboy. I don't know enough about samurai, and I know too much about pirates

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

What year for samurai, and what rank? Samurai in 1590 were very different from samurai in 1850; after the warring states period ended, samurai quickly lost everything except their pride. Merchants - nominally the lowest class (burakumin were outside of the class system) - had far more wealth and real power than the samurai in the years preceding the Meiji restoration. A low-ranking samurai around 1820 would be a life of poverty that was still filled with class and social obligations; not cool.

Overall, probably a ranch hand (cowboy was a derogatory term). Yeah, the pay was shit, and it was hard work, but you got to be outside all the time.

[–] Teknikal@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pirate by a mile, I don't know why just the freedom or the fact I really enjoyed the Black Flag game.

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[–] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Are there no Pirate Cowboy Samurais?

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[–] livedeified@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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Id be a cowboy. Just a rancher landlord with guns. Its probably the closest of the 3 with a peacefull lifestile since killng is not that necesary. And i could be a modern day cowboy with a truck and an automated farm house and i still would be a cowboy since i work with cows, have guns and wear a hat sometimes.

[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

Pirate and cowboy would both be really hard, dirty and deadly. So I'd go with samurai. They're basically just the ruling aristocracy, for most of their time they've never had to fight. So lots of money comfort and safety beat the more freedom you have for the other two.

[–] danhab99@programming.dev 5 points 1 year ago

I want to be a pirate literally cuz I'm in the middle of watching one piece

[–] Surface_Detail@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's a toss up between cowboy and samurai.

For Samurai it would depend on when. Samurai became defacto nobility, but they began in the 8th century as just mercenaries hired by local nobles to protect their estates.

But a cowboy is a life in the open air on a ranch. Hard work for sure, but hard work doesn't bother me.

[–] livus@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I think it would depend on "when" for all three of them.

Get the wrong date for Cowboy and instead of lying next to a campfire, you're nursing your rodeo injuries in your trailer home.

Get the wrong date for Pirate and you'll find yourself cradling a semiautomatic in a speedboat off the coast of Somalia.

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[–] SantaClaus@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I would be a pirate. Because the other word for pirate treasure is Booty. (Beastie boys influence, I guess)

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[–] Hextic@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

People dress up as cowboys now. Go to your local Walmart.

Speaking of, why the fuck aren't they shamed into the shadow realm like I would be if I dressed as a samurai while getting the bread and milk?

Anyway that's my answer, Samurai.

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[–] PowerCrazy@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Just throwing this out there, you can literally be a cowboy or a pirate today right now. The only barriers to entry are willingness and the minor physical ability they require. Samurai is unfortunately impossible.

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[–] Tigbitties@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Samurai. They were freaking rich, ate good food and married well. They did good deeds and shit and had plenty of time for self reflection and improvment.

[–] Cypher@aussie.zone 5 points 1 year ago

Good deeds like maintain the brutal feudalism which stunted Japans growth for centuries

[–] Default_Defect@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Well, I have rum and a sword from my weeb phase, so cowboy it is. Time to buy a six shooter.

[–] hsl@wayfarershaven.eu 4 points 1 year ago

Cowboy. It would be hard work but all that time outside, sleeping under the stars, working with my hands.

I'd be bored within a week but the idea is fun!

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