Since I see where this is going to go,
What is the quickest way you could get fired from your job and not end up as a registered sex offender, or with jail time for that matter?
this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2023
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Asklemmy
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Insulting your boss may be the best solution, or you can just send a letter of resignation
God damn it I just had to delete a four paragraph answer
Refusing to work, just sitting on a chair doing nothing even when asked directly by your boss
At many companies that's not a quick way to be let go. The process would take some time.
At a government job it took an entire year to fire an executive assistant who did absolutely nothing.
Sometimes this actually becomes a quick way to get promoted for some people. I havenβt figured that trick out yet though.
Try to bang your boss. Either you get fired, or you get to bang your boss. Win-win
Banging my boss would be the biggest L of my life
Not wearing the minimum fifteen pieces of flair.
Scream "white power" while giving the Nazi salute every 20 minutes.
These days that could get you a promotion
Shit on the floor.
Gotta get schwifty!
Whip it out bro.
Step into a machine not locked out.
I have admin on our SharePoint and Teams systems. Just saying.
Talk about the projects I'm working on.
This, I work for a company that deals in very sensitive data. Grab my camera, snap a few pics and spend the rest of my days in Federal prison. Let's not do that.
Open every hydrant in town and leave. Or, open a bunch in different sections and close them as fast as possible causing a hammer effect and making the water mains break. Bonus if it's next to a water tower. I'd never do that though, part of my job is to find said break.
I'm self-employed, so probably dying.
At my old job, my hours were cut to zero after I finally made a single comment pointing out the hypocrisy of my boss's politics. After a year of dealing with him spouting Q-conspiracy every single day he was there, I kind of had enough.
Shit on the floor.
Violate HIPAA
Refuse to leave the CEOs office, and keep acting like it's funny for you to be in there.