this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2023
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[–] essellburns@beehaw.org 38 points 1 year ago

One person you're destined for by a grand design of the universe? No.

Someone you connect with on a deep level that goes beyond rational considerations and even emotional sensations? Yes, absolutely.

This is why it's possible to meet more than one in a lifetime. Timing is also a big part of it, I've met half a dozen people over the last thirty years who I would have spent my life with, where I was in my life at the time made all the difference of how those relationships played out.

[–] mrcleanup@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Not really no. But it is possible to find someone who helps your feel appreciated, loved, and valued for who you actually are instead of trying to change you.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago
[–] pytmand@feddit.dk 11 points 1 year ago

No. And for everything else it is usually also limiting to think that there is one β€œcorrect” choice. In reality many of the options might be good.

No, there are too many fleeting factors in the lives of humans for there to be objective romantic matches.

[–] Moobythegoldensock@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

No. The best you can do is just pick someone you want to build a life with and work hard on it together.

[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It can feel like it. And there can be more than one. There is just a strong chemistry between some people, not sure if it's pheromones or some intangible factor but it's there.

But times and people change, might not last forever. Enjoy it while it lasts, be kind to each other and don't take the relationship for granted.

I do belive so. I married her when we found each other. I have seen no other.

The real question is, how can you recognize if the person you are talking to right now is your soul mate?

[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I hope so. Maybe not just one. The way I see it, out of 8 billion people on this planet, there might be ~10 people you could be soulmate with if you ever meet.

[–] Dran_Arcana@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I put the napkin math at closer to 5,000-10,000. Judging by how few people the average person interacts with on the daily, and how many people are also in happy relationships from a selection within that tiny sample size of the world populace. It really stands to reason that there are a lot more compatible matches out there than our romantic notions care to admit.

That said, the chances of actually having a meaningful interaction with more than 0-2 without heavily investing time and effort in meeting new people is also pretty slim.

[–] irmoz@reddthat.com 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

And people are more similar than we think. For every interest you have, or every value you hold, there are millions who also like that interest and hold those values. And these things often happen in clusters: enjoying rock music means you likely enjoy metal; valuing honesty means you likely also value loyalty, etc. All this to say, if the world created someone like you once, it's near impossible that there isn't someone else like you.

[–] morgan_423@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Not many potential ones out there, I'd wager. I'm in my 40s and have only met two for-certain candidates, been married to one of them for a while. So if you get that true click, good for you.