Ask Lemmy

Probably when I didn't take the trash out.

My girlfriend jumped my ass a few days ago because I did all the chores.
I get home a few hours before she does and she's been stressed about work and the long drive so I've been doing all the chores and getting dinner ready. I figured she'd be able to relax instead of being strung like a bow and since I have about 3 hours of time before she got home that we'd be able to spend more time together too.
Turns out I'm making her feel like she doesn't contribute enough by doing all the chores and she needs to feel like she accomplished something when she gets home.
So, I got blamed for making her look lazy when my intent was just to give her time to chill.

A couple months ago a colleague thought I had automated the review of all the files in a massive [highly patterned] PR, but I actually manually went through each file efficiently and systematically. Mostly I'm just accused of being a robot.

We're currently being threatened with court action by our landlady for using our flat for commercial purposes. It's obvious bunkum, and we've had inspections and everything that prove we don't do it and sent all kinds of evidence to the lawyer accusing us, but the thing is that we followed a rental commission procedure last year to have the rent tested and so the landlady's losing money or whatever. It's all very dramatic but we're confident because it's so easy to prove that it's a load of bollocks.

Couple of years ago, I ended up driving into the side of this guy who, coming from the lane to the left of me suddenly decided he needed to make a right turn to the exit on my right.

There were no cameras, so in the end the insurance companies agreed to split the blame 50:50. I'm still furious about it! 😁

Once there was a small earth quake in NYC, and my mom couldn't make a phone call, and she blamed me for "breaking her phone".

Bruh, it was the network congestion from everyone calling each other. So every time from then on, every time she tries me blame me, I say "OMG its NYC earth quake all over again!"

Still mad at what happened that day. A fucking earth quake and it gets blamed on me? 😡

As a teen, I once went to open the microwave but the handle wasn't attached, it just lifted off. I think one of my siblings broke it and then placed it back carefully. Half my family was in the room when I lifted the handle off and to this day they don't believe me that it offered 0 resistance and that someone else might have broken it. We kept that microwave for years after that and just had to pry it open with finger nails.

I'm a consultant so this happens regularly.

The cat did a silent fart and jumped off the couch. The wife seemed to think it was me. I never even smelt it.

Few days back my SO was annoyed by how she predicted I would have answered if she were to ask me to do something.

I was accused of unpluggin the beer tap in the office kitchen because I complained about the keg being in the way. But it wasn't me.

Just now lol

This lady at work is just insufferable to work with sometimes and she accused me of installing software to “her” server because I’ve said that I’m creating a replacement server so it can be on a newer version of Windows.

As I’ve told you many times before, I’m not touching “your” precious server. I am simply mirroring what is on there to a newer server and then we can begin testing with this completely separate server and make changes there. The only things I’ve done there is log on and take screenshots and save said screenshots to my local computer.

“Your” server having space issues has literally not a damn thing to do with anything I’m doing, as I have said repeatedly before.

Thankfully she accepted my response with an “ok”. An apology would have been nice for accusing me of doing this, but that’s too much to ask of her so I’ll settle for acceptance.

I think she acts the way she does because she’s the only one who does this job and thinks she’s invincible. Which she is, to a degree.

She does this to everyone and even publicly, so that helps to at least I know I’m not the problem here because I often am blaming myself when others accuse me and giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Couple times a day, by myself, constantly.

for the first year of my current job, I worked in a different department. (Service advisor at a car dealership, also, I hated it)

we had a mechanic who was ready to not be a mechanic anymore, and move on to something else (ill come back to that later) and we had a senior service advisor who was a crotchety lecherous old man who needed to fucking retire.

they worked with each other for so long that they had become like an old couple, getting into screaming matches at work, Usualyl it involved the old guy giving a job to the mechanic that the mechanic didnt want to do (he'd throw hissy fits over being given certain types of vehicles),

they had a full on screaming match in the garage where my computer was, I walked in to witness it. I walked away because I hated dealing with either of those people when they were having a manchild meltdown. they saw that I saw them, but didnt say anything.

The next day they're talking to each other about someone having ratted on them for their fight. and were giving me the murder eyes...

one of the bosses, witnessed the fight on camera with audio... I never said shit. I explained it afterward, to the mechanic and the old guy, the mechanic understood, the old guy didnt want to hear it.

that was 3 years ago, the old guy is gone now, and both the mechanic, and myself, work in the sales department, and the relationship is completely 180'd to the point that we can laugh about those days now.

I jokingly accuse my partner of stealing my glasses when I lose them. I just put them down in random places and am then too blind to find them again. A few days ago I told my partner I lost my glasses and he blamed ME for stealing my own glasses!! How can I steal my own glasses??

1 minute ago. I'm married. The reason doesn't matter, there will be another I've pretty soon.