this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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A 6-month-old boy died after being left for hours in a hot car in Louisiana, authorities said.

The baby was found dead in the backseat by his parent at about 5:46 p.m. Tuesday, according to the East Baton Rouge Sheriff’s Office.

When the parent went to pick up the baby from day care after work, they realized they forgot to drop him off at day care that morning, the sheriff's office said.

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[–] deltapi@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

It's amazing how the smallest routine deviations can change things.

I once put my 1 year old in the car seat before loading the rest of the stuff into the car. My kid has always hated being constrained, so I didn't bother buckling the seat belt, as I figured there'd be more joy in being able to reach and play with toys while I loaded the car.

All went well, we got underway, and upon arriving at our destination I realized I never actually did up the safety restraints.

Holy shit

I thought

If I'd gotten in an accident in the last 30m of driving, my kid probably would have died

What a shock and brutal realization to have.

Many people have complemented me on my parenting, complemented me on my nurturing and caring attitude towards my kid and other children too. I'd like to think I'm a good father...but the momentary lapse I had could have ended a life and ruined so many more.

Yes, it can happen to anyone. I feel nothing but sympathy for the parents who have lost a child this way.

While not every parent who loses a child this way is a good person, people like Lyn Balfour have demonstrated that many of the parents responsible for these cases are good people who simply had a momentary lapse in attention that resulted in the worse mistake of their entire life.

I think that it is not for the public to judge them, and it's not appropriate to publically shame parents who have been through a tragedy like this.

Those parents will be forever haunted by the waxy face of their dead child, will see other children playing in parks, and remember what their child looked like the last time they saw their remains, will remember how beautiful and vibrant their baby was - and know that it's their fault that the child is forever gone.

I think that's punishment enough.

[–] Copythis@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

When my oldest was about 1, I buckled him in, but didn't realize the carseat wasn't buckled in.

About a mile down the road, I turned and we went tumbling across the car in his car seat. It was completely upside down by the end.

The only thing that kept me calm was that he was cackling with laughter. He thought it was the funniest thing. Never made thay mistake again!

[–] fukurthumz420@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

i was a toddler in the 70's. i was never put in a child seat. i distinctly remember crawling around in the floorboard and watching the streetlights go past from a lying position. i'm glad i have those memories instead of being put in restraints every time i was ferried around. we were even in a car wreck once and i got thrown around a little bit. got a few cuts on my hand and that was it.

but i don't have kids so i don't worry about any of that shit.

i'm not sure if there was a point to this other than to be amused at yall for freaking out over everything.

[–] Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I once lit a cigarette, but it didnt stay lit. So i guess that means that everyone who lights a cigarette has to light it twice....

Except that it doesnt and my experience put me in a minority that day.

Thats why we dont use anecdotes as evidence of facts.

People are right to be concerned about safety when the evidence shows that not being concerned causes more deaths despite there being some lucky idiots out there.

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[–] PoorYorick@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (6 children)

Every time this happens, I am reminded of this Pulitzer prize-winning article.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

It can happen to anyone, but a large majority will never believe that. It's a heart-rending situation.

[–] ThunderWhiskers@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Piggybacking your comment to say that this kinda shit would happen a lot less if we had mandatory maternity/paternity leave.

[–] todd_bonzalez@lemm.ee 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Or if we hadn't built our entire society around personal automobiles.

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[–] Zidane@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

To a much less serious degree it happened to me/my daughter. Brought her in one winter in her car seat and set her down next to my bed with her coat still on. Instantly fell asleep on the bed for at least an hour. When I came to she was drenched in sweat. Obviously panicked and got her out but she seemed unfazed, stretched a little, and went back to sleep. Still feel bad years later.

[–] randoot@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Having gone through what is essentially sleep deprivation torture when raising twins, I believe this and the guilt would be unimaginable.

[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

A friend was taking a walk with her daughter, she called her from the other side of the street. She didn't see the car coming though. The daughter ran over the street and was killed by the car.

She couldn't see the car, because the parked cars were bigger and blocked the view.

An unfortunate accident, but she never got over it. It's been 30 years, but she's as devastated as before.

The daughter only crossed the street, because the she called her. This broke her.

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 1 points 3 months ago

From the bottom of my soul, FUCK big cars. Our cars are so much bigger than they need to be, and they legitimately ruin lives with their size and blindspots.

[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

You would not believe the downvotes I've gotten for saying this exact thing. I'm not a parent, but I do take the time to really consider what having to care for an infant would be like. I have been sleep deprived (edit: though, nowhere near the level of a new parent) so I perfectly understand how you could unintentionally cause the death of your kid. I think the hypothetical I gave was something like

You're out running errands with the baby on your day off while the spouse is at work. You got maybe 4 hours of sleep between getting up to feed and change, and you're lifting and carrying and running around all day. You stop home to drop off some shopping, you even leave the car running because you'll be right out. Quick plop on the couch just to rest your legs and back, and then suddenly it's five hours later and you start awake remembering you left the car running... and the baby in the car.

I know the terror I feel from that little hypothetical, I can't believe it doesn't hit close to home with actual parents too. And then, to be held socially - even if not legally - liable on top of your own guilt... an awful, horrible, soul-chilling situation to contemplate. I wish there were more compassion for new parents, I'd bet it's more common than we think that parents' bodies just shut down from the strain.

[–] TheDoozer@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

I was going to be dropping my son off at daycare before work (something I usually didn't do), and my normal routine was to stop at Wawa for breakfast. I stopped, got out, grabbed my breakfast, got back in, and only then remembered that he was in the back. He had been VERY uncharacteristically quiet prior, and I was tired, and I just... forgot he was in the back.

It caused absolutely no harm (I was only in the Wawa for 5-10 min), but it was a very sobering moment. I can definitely understand how it happens.

[–] LibertyLizard@slrpnk.net 1 points 3 months ago (3 children)

One of many great reasons to raise your kids car-free.

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[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Ah that article, that scared me shitless when I first read it while my wife was pregnant. A single "oops" that really doesn't just fuck a person up, it ruins their entire life.

“Death by hyperthermia” is the official designation. When it happens to young children, the facts are often the same: An otherwise loving and attentive parent one day gets busy, or distracted, or upset, or confused by a change in his or her daily routine, and just... forgets a child is in the car. It happens that way somewhere in the United States 15 to 25 times a year, parceled out through the spring, summer and early fall. The season is almost upon us.

If you ever accidentally left food in the microwave for a few hours, this could be you with children.


Anyways here's the archive org link since the primary link is paywalled.

https://web.archive.org/web/20240617002402/https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

[–] nulluser@programming.dev 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

If you ever accidentally left food in the microwave

I've lost count of how many times. Now we have a microwave with a reminder beep that keeps going off every minute or so until you open the door. Best feature ever.

[–] NastyNative@mander.xyz 0 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

The 40hrs are for father supporting the mother not for both to do 40hrs. This is why shit like this happens , they are forcing us to live a life we were never built for. The less working for some one else my wife does the more energy she puts into our family specially my son.

[–] eatthecake@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

A woman's place is in the home, right guys? Did you mean our son?

[–] psivchaz@reddthat.com 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I think the point is valid, but maybe not presented well. When the 40 hour work week was established, the understanding was that a single parent could work and earn enough for the family.

Now, two earners are not just common they're almost required. People are stressed, wondering how they're supposed to juggle work and family and chores and all of the other things that need to get done and the answer is that they shouldn't have to juggle so much.

To be clear: women having the ability to work is undeniably a good thing. Women don't have to be beholden to finding a good husband, they have options now, and workplaces have benefited from new perspectives. But it also got messed up by capitalism making it the default expectation... More people joined the workforce, but wages just sat still and ate up the gains.

I'm not saying women should choose family over career, I'm saying that it should still be an option today for one parent to make enough for the family to live off of so that the other parent can help balance the workload of life better.

[–] eatthecake@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (4 children)

OP was explicitly sexist throughout their comment starting with:

The 40hrs are for father supporting the mother not for both to do 40hrs.

I think their presentation was a deliberate choice in order to make a traditional, conservative family structure appealing to the left. I've seen this talking point come up a few times recently and I'm not going to just ignore tbe sexism. Working from home, shorter work weeks and more of the profits going to workers are ways to tackle people being overworked. Sending women home to work for their husbands is not the solution.

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