this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2024
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A British man is ridiculously attempting to sue Apple following a divorce, caused by his wife finding messages to a prostitute he deleted from his iPhone that were still accessible on an iMac. 

In the last years of his marriage, a man referred to as "Richard" started to use the services of prostitutes, without his wife's knowledge. To try and keep the communications secret, he used iMessages on his iPhone, but then deleted the messages. 

Despite being careful on his iPhone to cover his tracks, he didn't count on Apple's ecosystem automatically synchronizing his messaging history with the family iMac. Apparently, he wasn't careful enough to use Family Sharing for iCloud, or discrete user accounts on the Mac.

The Times reports the wife saw the message when she opened iMessage on the iMac. She also saw years of messages to prostitutes, revealing a long period of infidelity by her husband.

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[–] arockinyourshoe@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

a man referred to as "Richard"

Heh.

[–] k_rol@lemmy.ca 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)
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[–] willya@lemmyf.uk 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)

What an idiot on multiple accounts.

[–] BurnSquirrel@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago

No that's the problem, he was an idiot with a single account.

[–] Dioxid3@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago

No no you see, the issue was precisely the lack of multiple accounts

[–] cobysev@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (13 children)

I knew a guy when I served in the US military who got caught cheating in a semi-related way. He got assigned to a base in a new state and his wife refused to relocate their whole family for the few years he'd be assigned there, so he went by himself, leaving his wife and kids in his home state.

Turns out, he was sexting one of his younger subordinates at work. One of his daughters found out when she tried to use an old tablet and found out his account was still synced to it. She saw all his texts updating in real time.

He was ultra-conservative and didn't believe in divorce, so he was doing everything he could to save his marriage. His wife forced him to install security cameras in every room of his apartment and banned him from going anywhere after work. She knew his schedule and expected him home immediately after work ended. He was basically on house arrest until his job was done and he could move home.

The last I heard, he told his wife the landlord needed to paint the walls, so he removed all the cameras, dunked them in the bathtub, then played dumb when none of them would work when he set them back up again. He was seen inviting young women over to his apartment after that. So, you know... he didn't learn his lesson.

[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

His wife forced him to install security cameras in every room of his apartment and banned him from going anywhere after work. She knew his schedule and expected him home immediately after work ended.

This is so toxic. Not saying cheaters get what they deserve but if you can't trust your husband, I think you have bigger problems than infidelity.

[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (5 children)

That's conservatism for ya, can't divorce and just be happier people for it because sky daddy might be mad

[–] Maeve@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)

It's probably mostly due to not wanting to pay spousal support and control issues.

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[–] Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I found out my ex of 12 years was cheating in a similar matter. For some reason she liked taking screenshot of conversations, I had set up Amazon pictures auto backup on her phone at her request cause she was afraid of losing 16 years or pictures. One day I was looking through the backups cause my phone was also set up and I was looking for an old picture I no longer had on my phone. I ended up finding plenty of screenshot of her texts with an old school boyfriend she had been cheating on me with for almost 2 years. Nothing physical as far as I could tell but I can't say for certain it didn't happen, emotional cheating is just as bad for me anyways.
I also saw that some screenshot were from Instagram and I knew her tablet was logged in so I checked and it was all there. Worst part was, that she would often be texting him when we were together doing things and basically telling him she wish she was there. Worst 3 months of my life while I got my ducks in a row so I could leave without issue.

I found out she met him at least twice on her yearly trips back to her home country.

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[–] akilou@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Guy shouldn't have cheated

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 0 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I was a huge Signal advocate at one time and would try to get everyone to install it and use it. Man, woman or child, I didn't care who it was. I was worse than a crypto-bro trying to jam BTC down everyone's throat.

I was chatting with a group of ladies at work and got a few of them to install it. When they did, Signal pushed notifications of them connecting to my wife's phone.

Needless to say, I got questioned fairly intensely about why there were other girls connecting with me on Signal.

I wasn't very keen on Signal after that.

[–] akilou@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Interesting. I've never liked those notifications but I've seen people on Signal message boards defend them to the death. There's no privacy issue! You're only getting it because they're already saved in your phone! This is a good scenario to illustrate the point.

[–] viking@infosec.pub 0 points 3 months ago

You can just switch it off.

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[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Two things can be true lol. He should have insisted on disappearing messages and Signal use for the app but a lot of people are quite resistant to the notion that they don't get to "keep" your conversations forever for whatever purpose they choose

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 months ago (5 children)

This is /technology not /morales

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago

Dude, fuck off

[–] Maeve@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 months ago

Why can't we discuss both if both apply?

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[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

As many have recently discovered, if infidelity occurs, it's the phone makers fault.

https://lemdro.id/post/9738136

https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/new-apple-ios18-feature-meant-banking-privacy-makes-it-easier-cheaters-hide-dating-apps-1724954

Unveiled at the recent WWDC, iOS 18 includes a much-discussed "hide and lock apps" feature that some worry could be misused for privacy concerns related to infidelity.

Critics have dubbed the new feature "a cheater's paradise" due to its ability to hide or lock apps on the iPhone home screen, potentially concealing private hobbies and information.

While Apple's promotion highlights the feature's ability to safeguard banking apps and prevent unauthorized purchases on Amazon, many users perceive it as facilitating infidelity. The new feature ignited a firestorm on social media, with divided opinions.

"Thanks Apple. I will be trying to hide online dating app from my wife," one X user shared. "With lock app and hide app, I can finally do it." Other users joked that the feature "is going to break up relationships."

[–] MagicShel@programming.dev 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Anyone who is worried about this feature is in a toxic relationship. And that's not the phone's fault.

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I was being sarcastic. I guess I was wrong about how obvious it was.

[–] MagicShel@programming.dev 0 points 3 months ago

No. I 100% understood the sarcasm. Did that sound like a rebuttal or argument? It wasn't intended that way.

[–] 555@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Just get one of the free texting apps or get a burner. Dumb people.

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[–] Drusas@kbin.run 0 points 3 months ago (4 children)
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[–] rustydomino@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago

Geez, has this dude never watched a crime drama before? If you’re gonna be doing bad shit at LEAST get a burner phone. 🙄🙄🙄

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I know this wasn't iMessage per se but a good reminder for posterity

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Isn’t messages in iCloud off by default? I feel like I had to actively enable this in a preference panel.

[–] fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I think it's changed recently. Even if you have icloud messaging on you used to have to explicitly turn it on per device. But I recently got a new iPad and when I went to check that setting it was already on.

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)

iPad / iOS I think is on by default, but not macOS. Maybe I’m wrong though.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

It does that for Mac too. They do it for all devices I believe altho I can't speak to Watch or the glasses. Likely so for them to be consistent but can comment outside of conjecture

Anywhere outside of AppStore signin, you're basically getting factory defaults which is

  • iMessage
  • Facetime
  • iCloud Backup
  • All your apps that onky have opt-out iCloud sync
  • ...
[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago

Just wiped and installed Sonoma on a MacBook, can confirm it defaults to on when you sign in with your Apple ID. Handoff is nice and all but I don’t need every device in the room dinging when the local car wash sends me a spam text. The watch is iffy, it mirrors the phone settings but sometimes my phone dings and sometimes my wrist does, not entirely sure why.

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[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago

You are mistaken at least as of the present and even a while back. They reset all defaults everytime you log into iCloud, its likely an attempt to discourage logging out

[–] deranger@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

All he had to do was put his wife on a different account on the Mac or use another messenger on his phone. I don’t see iMessage as being “leaky” in this instance. His messages didn’t appear anywhere they weren’t supposed to from a technical perspective. He used the same account on the Mac and iPhone, syncing messages worked as advertised. I’d expect this to happen with any message sync feature, it’s not iMessage specific.

It’s like complaining that your wife found out your were cheating because you used FB messenger, yet didn’t create a separate login for your wife on your Linux desktop, and the sole account’s web browser is logged in to your Facebook. He fucked up, that’s poor computer security to let someone else use your account. A major Mac feature is a lot of activity is easily shared across devices you’re logged into. Why would you not have a separate login for your wife, especially if you’re fucking around on her?

[–] ichbinjasokreativ@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I don't like apple either, but in this case you're right. I have signal on my phone and on my linux machines, if I share those computers with someone else and let them use the same user, they can open signal and see my messages. The guy in the article is an idiot.

[–] thefactremains@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Doesn't the deletion of a conversation propagate to all devices though?

That's what didn't happen here that this guy apparently assumed did happen

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[–] deranger@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I use Signal as well and that’s what came to mind. Let’s assume I cheated on my wife and hired prostitutes using Signal on my phone. She could use my Windows PC, open Signal there, then see the cheater texts. This isn’t the fault of Signal, Apple, or Microsoft. It did the thing I asked it to do - sync messages. I would have fucked up by letting someone use my Windows login.

Good thing we don’t share accounts, aside from some very short term usage. That’s just a bad idea, even if it’s little personalization type things. Not messaging hookers probably goes a long way too.

[–] Crismus@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I think the issue comes that it only syncs messages one way and doesn't sync on deletions. Apple should have messages that are removed from all devices when removed from the phone, but it didn't remove messages when deleted.

Sure the guy is a moron for being a cheater and scumbag, but Apple should remove deleted messages. That's a privacy problem with Apple's sync. I don't use Apple devices due to other Apple crap, but setting up iCloud sync should have a warning when items won't be deleted and only will be downloaded to devices.

Wasn't an entire stupid movie about the horrible sync pitfalls in Apple devices premiered years ago?

[–] Maeve@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Why? My laptop has more storage than my phone. Sometimes I need to save a conversation for future reference, and want photos on my laptop where I have more storage, not on my phone.

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[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If you had deleted in Signal that would sync right away before it visually rendered all the contacts and message content. False equivalence

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[–] catloaf@lemm.ee 0 points 3 months ago (5 children)

Guy's an idiot for sure, but I would expect a delete action to sync as well. Why does a creation sync but not a deletion?

[–] deranger@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Good question. It should sync deletes per their support article, and that’s my experience with iMessages. Wonder if this was an SMS conversation and it only delivers to multiple devices, but doesn’t actually sync SMS like it does iMessages.

If you use Messages in iCloud, deleting a message or conversation on your Mac deletes it from all your devices where Messages in iCloud is on.

https://support.apple.com/en-in/guide/iphone/iph2c9c4bfcb/ios

[–] Tenthrow@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago

And it would definitely be SMS if the prostitutes were using Android.

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 0 points 3 months ago

If you use Messages in iCloud, deleting a message or conversation on your Mac deletes it from all your devices where Messages in iCloud is on.

Technically that doesn't say that deleting them from your phone will delete it from the backup on your Mac

[–] Fisch@discuss.tchncs.de 0 points 3 months ago

I think that's the one thing Apple did wrong here. The way it seems to work currently, I would have to manually delete the same message from each device one after another. That's stupid.

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[–] Nougat@fedia.io 0 points 3 months ago

This is 100% "I don't understand technology, so it's all Apple's fault!"

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