this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2023
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Can you simply carve out catdoors where privacy isn't necessary and simply more strenuously enforce it when it is? There must be a way. I don't even know how I did it other than non-violently freakout and try to add a cue to the freakout for them to internalize that I can safely rehash when I need to reinforce it?
I’d love to, and we will when we’re in a more permanent place, but we’re in a rental with a scummy landlord right now. We’re looking for a new one, but it’s probably going to be until summer at least
Honestly, just like freakout (lovingly) a little and raise your voice a bit and usher 'em away without hurting or physically connecting and scold them a bit+put on a show so they know you're pissed.
Cats do it ALL the time, the hiss and get pissy and like 30 seconds later its like nothing ever happened. You sort of have to have at least or more of a pair of balls than they do. Show 'em who's boss and reward with treats strategically or when they voluntarily comply
Edit: my safe/trigger word for this is
I’ll try that, it’s been mostly either ignoring her meowing or meowing back so far, which doesn’t exactly work well
The other thing I do is ask them point-blank in a disappointed voice
And I repeat it a couple times, really hamm it up and sort of resist them for a moment cuz they'll want to rub up against your legs but they need a moment of seperation to realize that they're doing wrong
Oh god 💔 I’m fine doing that about her jumping on the stove or something that can endanger her, but if it’s just annoying me, I don’t want to cramp her style. I know that’s nuts, but luckily she’s a very well behaved cat whom I adopted as an already trained adult. I’ll recruit my husband for moral support 😅
The more you use any trick the less effective it is. This is with anything, anywhere, anyone. You MUST pick your battles.
That's why I have zero respect for parents who constantly threaten the children with something + everyone puts on a show ("Nooooo, Nooooo, Nooooooo?!!!!!) and it somehow deescalates to "Well alright, stop fucking around" --> nothing is learned and nobody learns it
Yeah. I am 100% not cut out for rearing anything, as I try to reason respectfully with whatever I’m interacting with. It was hard to realize that my niece doesn’t actually care why she can’t eat candy, but just wanted to distract me with a conversation so she could sneak candy.
I’m actually getting my masters in education (language instruction for adults, thank god), and even with fully capable adults there’s a lot of classroom management that I just have to put on a fake strict teacher persona and power through. If you try to do something and then walk it back, you’re always lost though.
Nothing wrong with reasoning respectfully but you have to have an agenda to assertively orchestrate why you're doing it and realize that if you always say things without backing them up, you don't have any legitimacy
Everyone can do it tho. Its all boundary-setting and enforcing. You figure out what you want and what you need, enforce the needs, and negotiate down the wants on both sides of the table. You have to make sure you get what you need but that you are flexible on the "nice to haves" as long as everyone is being heard and validated on the needs and again, the wants are open to negotiaton but you gotta be practical and never mistake the two