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What lesson that you didn't see when you were younger and now can see, you would teach to your younger self? (discuss.tchncs.de)

submitted 11 months ago by CatUser@discuss.tchncs.de to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I'm in my 20's and I consider myself a complete ignorant, in the sense that whenever I make a decision I always think "What would the future me do if I had more experience/knowledge?"

So taking advantage of this space in Lemmy, what lesson that you had to learn by force or that you learned by experience that when you were younger you didn't see you would teach your younger self?

And I mean lessons like: I must learn to love others, or I am worth more than I think I am.

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[–] taladar@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

An important concept when determining your own and others limits is to learn to distinguish what you need and what you merely want and to realize that this varies from person to person. An introvert might really need that alone time while it might just be nice to have for you and an extravert might really need social contacts frequently while you can take it or leave it. A person with health issues might need the rest or a depressed person might need someone else to initiate to maintain a friendship.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Thats important because boundaries are a dance in terms of whether you can have a healthy relationship with another. If you have opposing boundaries like:

Person A: I find others' boundaries triggering so my boundary is nobody else can have boundaries but me

Person B: I want to respect A's boundaries the best I can but unfortunately I need to be able to set boundaries to keep me safe and ok and I am triggered when people can't accept reasonable boundaries

Prolly not gonna work. You must take care that your boundaries are in fact needs and not simply a preference like your fave saltine cracker because you need ti vigorously enforce needed boundaries and they will limit the people you are able to safely interface with and if you have too many triggers+boundaries nobody will want to be around you