this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy

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[–] spitz@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Your post prompted me to have a look at Tildes. It looks alright, but a bit... dry.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Its not for everyone and that's part of why its for me ;) Not that I'm elitist or anything, I just hate low-efforts and assholes, ne'r may the two meet here

[–] spitz@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes! Viva la difference! I like that there are a lot of options for everyone, I'd just like some more options that suited me.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

J'adore le différance á Jacques Derrida

[–] Ashtear@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It can be. Women or queer persons can potentially have a tough time there, too.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Ya, that post was pretty wishsy-washy and sweeping, people can make their points without needing to resort to identity politics to give credibillity to non-credible or insufficient arguments they want to toss out there. From my experience, I could argue any point from whatever lens you can think of and I believe I could receive votes and recognition. I can even swear because the force of my argument will be sufficient to excuse any nominal crassness that I strategically use to intensify the reasonable claim I ultimately make from the relevant or hypothetical vantage point in question.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can you elaborate or link me to some corroboration of that—it seemed remarkably progressive and reasonable in my limited experience

[–] Ashtear@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So, here's the thing. There's a difference between a space allowing people that don't look or act like the people already in the group and accepting those people. In some places, inclusiveness ends as soon as you get in the front door. Tildes is one of those places.

Now, don't get wrong, I don't think most of the people at Tildes are intentionally malicious or anything like that. And any large influx of people like the kind that would have happened with open registration after what went down on Reddit is going to cause mistrust and, sometimes, hostility. That's just human nature. The difference is Tildes is intentionally protective of its culture.

This came about by both a) restricting the development of niche (or minority) communities, and b) limiting invites so that the small trickle of people who come in are assimilated more easily. That culture--like so many of these types of places--started with mostly white men of privilege from the tech sector. All the good and bad that comes with that is going to propagate in such an environment.

Even if Tildes didn't originate in a culture that has a reputation for being homogenous and abrasive, this setup would still have lead to a certain type of group-think. Dismissive, and a little bit short on empathy and active listening. Martin Luther King Jr. talked about negative peace, where there wasn't open hostility, just an absence of tension (as opposed to positive peace, which is the presence of justice). This is not dissimilar.

This comment chain on Tildes is an example someone else shared.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My only argument I wanna make here is nobody knew my race or identity when I even asked for and summarily received an invite to Tildes (almost instantly!)

Unless I'm making some perceptual or logical issue here, I would say that is a stark contrast to the vignette you sorta painted here.

[–] Ashtear@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

Again, it's not about who they let in. It's about how they respond to conversation that doesn't mesh with their ingrained culture.

The conversation I linked is all about that.