Asklemmy

43945 readers

638 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

142

Is it wrong for 25M to date 19F? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by MTK@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

154 comments fedilink hide all child comments

So I met this girl by chance and we really hit it off, once I learned of her age I decided to just be friends as I think that 19 to 25 is an age were we mature a lot and I remember myself as a 19yo and I was not mature enough to be a good partner and to be good to myself.

I talked to a female friend of mine and she said that I'm over thinking it and that I should ask her out and be open minded, and so I did and we are going on a date soon.

The thing is, she seems really mature but I can't put aside the age gap.

Am I over thinking it? Should I really just take it slow and just be vigilant about the situation and notice if this isn't healthy for me or her?

Or should I let her down easy and continue as friends?

Update: We went on a date and it was great, I read all of the comments and there were some really good advices that I took to heart. I will take things slow and try to be as aware of the situation as possible. I hope it will go well :)

Thank you everyone!

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] OceanSoap@lemmy.ml 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The moral panic about age gaps for any relationship where both people are over eighteen is so ridiculous.

You're fine. Just date her in you want to.

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I don't think it is, while age ia not THE determining factor it does point to a possible lack of maturaity, experience, etc

So for some 18yo it night be okay to date a 21+ while others might have a 16yo mindset and really should't date anyone.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This is a good take, and you seem like a decent person. I think after a couple dates, you would quickly know if she is as mature as she seems and if it feels like the relationship is unbalanced or not.

My wife and I are similar distances and met at a similar age. I couldn't stand most girls her age, or even my age. But she has always been an old soul, and was more mature than most women I would have met, and certainly more mature than I was back then.

[–] redempt@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

you can't be 100% sure about a relationship until you try it. it might work out, it might not. age is not going to be an obvious problem upfront if she seems mature. you just have to accept that you're taking a risk.

[–] mikeboltonshair@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

Ffs date her and see what happens, you know find out what she’s like and all that..

Date the person not the number…

Also cuz I know the internet likes to be ridiculous with stuff don’t take the above statement and say some dumb shit like what if a 12 yr old was the number, this thread is about an 18 year old who is of legal age for the most part in most places