transgender
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I think this is a case of "hit the gym, workout to get the body you want". A lot of people are quick to blame transitioning or HRT but wouldn't have been happy in their original state either.
What do you do if your broke lmao, suicide I guess???? Even then wouldn't I need to get off hrt cause I think I'm permently hijdgerijg my progress by trying to use it while I'm horrobily overweight
How did you afford HRT if you're broke?
Anyways, not gonna nag, but I would advise against suicide. Perhaps unhelpfully, I would actually advise against home workouts as well, since they're too easy to skip. You're going to have to find a way to make it work though, and that won't be easy.
I don't know anything about what you must be feeling, but you can get an excellent workout without a gym by using bodyweight. Don't research it too hard, just pick a premade routine and do it for a few months. If you can spend $20 on a pair of rings you can really expand the possibilities.
planet fitness is $10/month if you're in a US city.
running and body weight exercises are free
do literally anything that gets you out of breath. tap dancing, yoga, pretending to be a beetle, justdance game, hopscotch, climbing a tree, reenacting historical battles, jump rope, putting on music you like and dancing badly. or if just walking - walk as fast as you can manage.
when you can go for 30 minutes without stopping, and don't feel the least bit phased, you can start investigating more formal/traditional ways to work out (or indeed at any time ever).
the cure to depression isn't "eat better, sleep better, drink more water, excercise," but they are some of the foundations of feeling better. The wise man built his house upon the rock, as they say.