this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2023
132 points (96.5% liked)

Asklemmy

43963 readers
1290 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

This has been on my mind lately. My dad is going through it, his sister has got it pretty bad and I apparently have the predisposed gene to get in my future.

I’m leaning no because I wouldn’t want to make my child go through slowly watching their dad’s mind leave them and also potentially pass it on to them when they get older.

It’s thrown me for a loop since I always imagined myself having kids and I’m around that age now.

What do you think?


Edit: I just want to say that I did not expect the kind of response this post got. I’m grateful for all of your comments and the perspectives it’s allowed me to peak into.

I also should mention that were I to have children they would most certainly not be burdened by being the crutch of my own personal journey of accepting and loving who I am. That is work for me alone and I would never unload that responsibility onto those I love and especially those who I’d be raising.

As for my partner not wanting kids, I would never consider forcing or persuading them to raise a child when they know for certain it’s not in their cards. This is another element in how I’ve been navigating this question. I love her with everything I have and I can’t imagine us being apart and yet there is a pang that lingers of the father I assumed I would eventually become.

Anyway, thanks again for your thoughtful replies. They’ve helped so much especially since this is the first time I’ve voiced these thoughts.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] macgyveringIt@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 year ago

Absolutely without doubt. I am male 46 year I have a son (19) and daughter (22). I promise that if I randomly pick a happy moment out of my life it will include my kids, I smile when I think about them and I miss them when now that they are back at school. When I think, well they are now living their own lives now and not around as much, I remember how proud I am of them and what they are accomplishing.

As for me getting Alzheimer's at 65, my thoughts would be to enjoy my children and hopefully grandchildren till I no longer can function. Then it's time to "step away", no need to be living without life. All that life is, memories and future expectations.

As for the kids potentially inheriting it I'd have to say life is a crap shoot but they would have many years to enjoy that life if that were the case. I know they would have the strength to deal with it. After all life is what you make it with a few bonus curve balls and sliders to keep you on your toes.

Another thought on your children dealing with parents falling ill at an advanced age (65 and above?? I guess). They will get over it, it hurts but it's one of those inevitable things of life that you are hard wired to deal with.

Don't let a potential future issue rob you of the enjoyment of the present.