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Difficulty feeling attracted to "real" people (rblind.com)

submitted 1 year ago by geekgarious@rblind.com to c/main@rblind.com

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As a blind man, I know I am usually attracted to the sound of a woman's voice. It's usually just the way they say a specific word or syllable, like "uh huh". However I find this almost never happens with people in the "real world". It only happens with voice actors, other performers, and people who are completely unavailable. I know that sighted people are usually attracted to one another by a person's physical appearance, at least initially. For blind people, attraction is based on voice or touch, and touch is a big no-no most of the time. The one time I dated a woman who was blind, we were touching each other toward the end of our first date, which was quite an eye-opener, figuratively speaking. Online dating has become so visual that I've all but abandoned it. I have felt starved for arousal as someone who lives on my own because of this. Have any other blind people found they rarely feel attraction in the real world?

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[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Just to add on, and I hope I'm wording this well enough... It can also be a bad focus as a result of desperation. Some people (far too many) hyper-focus on what signs to look for which indicate that the other is interested during the early stages.

Just for the sake of an obvious example, people will even debate whether it's good to text others multiple times without response! Everyone is reading waaaaay too much in to signs instead of just looking for someone they click with and like talking to.

This could be a subconscious expectation that those "sincere" (or which ever exact quality OP likes) inflections are the best sign of interest, when that's simply not the case IRL. ... I realize that's similar to the porn expectation, but this one comes from a much more common mode of thought.