this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
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Something I worry about, but haven't seen anyone mention yet, is that a long-after-the-fact apology seems a little self-serving. I'm the one who feels bad, so I'm going to bring something up again hoping that I feel better about the situation afterwards.
There are people I didn't treat very well when I was young. When I think about reaching out to apologize I imagine the interaction ending with me feeling better and them feeling shitty again.
Reading this thread, however, it doesn't look like that's how this usually goes. So, maybe I should rethink it.
I agree with you. In my case, I waited until a person I had wronged 30 years before reached out to me on facebook. Her contact gave me the opening to apologize. She claimed to have forgotten the incident, but I don't think that was true (for complicated reasons). But she accepted my apology.
We became close again for a while, but then she quit returning my calls and I let her be. At least I got to make my peace.