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my (18f) sister (13f) is convinced i don’t care about her, how do i convince her i do? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) by drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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a lot of the time, i’m either busy doing something where i literally cannot respond or overstimulated.

when i’m overstimulated, i physically cannot talk or barely register what someone’s saying. i also have trouble understanding out loud speech for some reason, where i’m listening but can’t process the words.

when my sister asks or says something, i often ask her to repeat it because it’s a lot of information. she says something like “never mind, you don’t care anyway, it’s not important” when i ask to be repeated.

she doesn’t care when i told her why i need it to be repeated.

she also thinks i’m mad at her all the time, gets frustrated when i don’t talk (because im incapable), and starts talking badly about herself when i don’t laugh at her humor (which consists of loud screeching and tiktok “brainrot” words)

since then, i decided to feign laughter so she’ll not think i’m upset with her.

i do try to be there for my sister, but there’s times where i cannot or just can’t talk.

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[–] AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.world 15 points 14 hours ago

It sounds like she’s constructed two competing versions of you in her mind—an idealized version that always understands and sympathizes with her, and a second version constructed from all the times you’ve failed to live up to those expectations.

If you can’t be her idealized version of yourself, you can demonstrate that you’re not the second version, either. Focus on proactively doing things for her when she’s not expecting you to—everything you do that doesn’t match what her mental model of you predicts you’ll do will weaken that model in her head.