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How to stop "Fall in love" so easily? (lemmy.world)

submitted 6 hours ago by NONE_dc@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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(It's weird to call it "falling in love", because it's more like a childish and annoying infatuation, but anyway...)

I'm already terrible at socializing, but it's especially difficult for me to create genuine friendships with women because I can't help thinking of them as "possible future partners" (or some bullshit like that) and feel "jealous" when I see them talking to other men. It's stupid, a really stupid and annoying felling.

I know there is something in me that I need to change, but I don't know what, and I need some assistance.

I would like to feel more comfortable with my singleness and reserve my feelings for someone who can really reciprocate, while forging more non-romantic relationships with other people.

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[–] magiccupcake@lemmy.world 4 points 4 hours ago

Try and flip the fantasies on their head.

Try looking for odd quirks and mannerisms that bother you and imagine how annoying it would be to be with a partner that does those things all the time.

Look for the particular ways they want to be cared for in the manner and how you would not be suitable to meet them, and that they might be happier with someone else.

Also just spend more time with them, and the infatuation will either fade or you'll realize you do really like them, which is OK, let them know, and it's OK if it's not reciprocal (though this is actually quite hard as a lot of women are conditioned to not believe men who say this).