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AITAH My brother is a Musk apologist and I no longer want to come to his wedding (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by dhcmrlchtdj__@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I’ve had several conversations/arguments recently with my brother making clear my system of values and my hatred for the wealthy. He is nearly diametrically opposed on all accounts and often makes light of their actions. He goes so far as to say that poor people and people in need of social services should have to figure things out for themselves. He often defends Elon Musk and champions him for being self made.

He is getting married in a foreign country soon and I have been able to put aside our differences and have been planning on going

…up until yesterday that is. I asked him of his thoughts on Musk’s seig heil maneuver and he sent a right wing meme of democratic leaders caught mid wave, saying that “they did it first”. He continued to be avoidant and didn’t respond to me calling it a strawman.

In this moment it feels necessary to cancel my plans to send a message that this is not ok. Am I the (or an) asshole for not going to his wedding because of this?

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[–] CuddlyCassowary@lemmy.world 87 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I cut my sister out of my life and didn’t go to her wedding for similar reasons. I don’t regret it one bit and it has helped my mental health tremendously. However, I didn’t do it to “teach her a lesson,” or “prove anything,” I did it so I could live with myself, and stay true to my values. We all only have limited time and energy on this planet, so think about the way you spend them and what’s most important to you. For me, my biological family is toxic. My chosen family is awesome.

[–] dhcmrlchtdj__@lemmy.world 36 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I relate to this very strongly. And maybe it’s not an AITAH type question — I think of it as doing something for myself more than anything else. Sure I might lose relationships with family members but what will I gain emotionally and mentally? And will that outweigh the familial loss in the long run? .. Lots to think about

[–] CuddlyCassowary@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Feel free to reach out to me directly if I can be a sounding board or anything. Best of luck…it’s certainly not easy, but for me, it was worth the introspection and effort.

[–] Auli@lemmy.ca -2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Really? How hard is it to not talk politics.

[–] Triasha@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

With right wingers, it's completely impossible.