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From your link (translated), the men in the survey didn't seem to engage in whataboutism:
I don't think much changed in the overall pattern, in another (also German) study what five years ago I read an absolutely overwhelming number of domestic violence constellations is mutual, provided psychological violence is taken into account, bluntly said assholes hook up with assholes. And lesbian couples have a higher rate than heteros who have a higher rate than gay men.
I do think the whole current approach to addressing the issue is fundamentally flawed: Aggression is not particularly gendered, though expresses itself in gendered ways, we have to un-fuck the psychology of people overall. Long story short we need to eat the rich to take the pressure off, then, once people have a breather many will fix themselves, and the rest will be in a state where putting them on the couch actually has a chance of success. Hard to drain a swamp while you're fighting off crocodiles.
It's worth noting that these acts may be "violence" in someone's estimation, but are not within the typical description of "violent crime" or "domestic violence" in a criminal sense.
Insults are a crime over here as-is, and generally speaking psychological violence can be persecuted as assault as long as the impact reaches the level of bodily injury. E.g. driving someone into depression is assault.
But you're right the laws are insufficient in this regard: While e.g. cutting off hair is considered a bodily injury, a thing which is neither crippling nor permanent nor painful, the standard applied to psychological violence requires lasting, grave, impact, and thus victims have a very hard time getting justice.
And, of course, all of this isn't helped by psychological violence often simply not being considered violence by the median citizen. We need a culture shift in that regard.
It's worth nothing that these acts may be "violence" in someone's estimation, but are not within the typical description of "violent crime" or "domestic violence".