Please just read without judging me, I'm up to conversation as long as you don't tell "you can do it!" Or "man up bitch" I don't need that type of dialogue, I've been beaten enough, even by my own family.
35 M.
My depression and loneliness had fucked me over enough last year and since I quit my abusive job (underpaid, boss screaming at job, no benefits, hated everyone, shit conditions) things aren't getting better. The fact I can't get a job even at a fast food sucks (some of you Americans complain about having that job, you're LUCKY to have that)... Job apps don't work or always ask for experience, I can't even get an Amazon warehouse job (I've seen people that can't even talk the language here well getting that job, so I guess I'm cursed). Nobody calls and no, you can't just knock random doors of warehouses expecting to give you a job, even worse if you're an immigrant.
My mother has enough of me living with them and I can't blame her I'm old ass virgin dude that will never get married but seems that everything is against me and I'll never move out. The world decided to just fuck me over again and again. The fact I can't get a job is killing me. I don't have money for studies and this country doesn't offer trade jobs education for people like me I've never been a good student anyways, I need the money NOW. Shit, I controlled this shitty town web page and hasn't been updated in a year. The job help is a joke for anyone like me. The only reason I'm not sleeping under a bridge is because of my mother.
Sometimes I google painless ways to die.
My father sometimes calls me saying I should go back to him in our home country, leave Europe, but for what? He lives in a shitty place, he's unemployed too and barely eats despite being 10x more of a man that i am... That would be a death sentence for someone like me. I have no escape anywhere.
Sorry if this post bothers you in any way, but I needed this. I have zero human contact with anyone besides my family.
I got a job only because my brother put me there.
nepotism is how everyone gets it done. the image of some self made man is utter bullshit. it's popular because it makes someone feel like their better than you. don't feel self concious about how you got that for a second. though i'll aknowledge the bottom of a depression cycle is a shitty place to stop believeing in bad luck, or that a that a lot of sucessful looking people are all show. sounds like you're in the pick a reason to get out of bed and shower, then force yourself to do it stage? i hate that stage, it's exhausting.
I really don't think this is any good for the OP. He's not talking about sucess or making it! Just getting ANY job at all!! (Edit, did you not even take in the first paragraph?!). Saying he can't get anywhere without help from family is really bad. I've personally never had a leg up and have been able to get a job and basic career. I understand it can be far more difficult for others, and I went through a stage like his of not being able to get even basic wage work, so I appreciate what I've got, but it is possible without nepotism!
i'm asking OP not to feel self deprecating about having taken that specific help. replying to this specific comment. Where* I understood it as them feeling undeserving of something that is extremely common but presented as unusual. which could close them off to seeking or accepting similar help in the future. if it came off as dissmisive of their post and experiance, that was not the intent. and i apologize to OP if they feel i was missing their perspective here.