Asklemmy

43963 readers

1313 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

202

dear introverts, what can I answer to a needy and clingy coworker who believes not talking means something's wrong (with me), so he leaves me alone? (programming.dev)

submitted 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) by dennis5wheel@programming.dev to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

69 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I go to work to work because I need a paycheck, not to make friends.

Where I am there is a new coworker that to me acts needy (think of Slow Horses's Struan Loy), tries befriending me, but he invariably asks if everything's ok. I don't care about this person's life.

The first 2 times I didn't think anything of it, but he asks that every day and it's becoming tiring.

I feel mobbed and stalked, mobbed because he keeps insinuating there is something wrong with me just because I don't ask him about his private life and do my job, and stalked, because he is so fixated on me.

going to HR over this seems ridiculous, but I'm starting to hate his voice.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

"Really, dude? I am so tired of you asking that. It's none of your business if I'm ok or not. Stop asking."

Tell him directly first. Then if he persists go to your boss or HR and tell them you think probably he is trying to be nice but keeps interrupting your work and won't stop, and the distractions are starting to interfere with your work.

[–] 474D@lemmy.world 1 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Seriously, just say this OP. You being an introvert has nothing to do with saying the bare minimum. It's honestly insulting using that as a crutch, introverts just don't like extended social interaction and need time to recharge. We aren't timid or frozen.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 3 weeks ago

Correction: introverts may or may not like extended social interaction, and need time to recharge.